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aquaSpruce8551
1 19,913 M Progress Road 9
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts420 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes97 Current upvotes97 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceAugust 24, 2020
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Feeling Pathetic
Men's Issues / by aquaSpruce8551
Last post
 December 13th
...See more I’ve posted something like this before. I’ll tread carefully because it’s not something that 7 cups would be ok with details being shared. I have a pretty shameful feeling about my body and sex. It started when I was a kid growing up smaller than other boys by a considerable amount and I got a bit bigger and almost caught up with everyone by high school but I still felt small. This meant more relating to sex at that point. I had a several first experiences with girls I was dating who cheated on me and spread rumors about my body and I felt this ghost of judgement. Like who else knows? What do they know? Do they believe them? I still live inside of this paranoia and sex is both a disappointment and an obsession and I feel like a loser because of it. Is it normal for men to have gone through this? What would have been an appt way to react? Why did no one step in? How do I reconcile becoming a masculine confident adult with all of this embarrassment? Like I imagine how fulfilling life could have been if I was a taller and bigger person when dating one of those girls who i thought was really special. But instead I feel pathetic because I’m not really a man. The story(my life) feels like it’s already thrown so off course and I have no control over the narrative. I wish I could start over.
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A small step but we’re all just asking for empathy
Men's Issues / by aquaSpruce8551
Last post
 December 7th
...See more I am really glad to finally see a call into the void actually be answered with the realization of this forum. Like a lot of men that need something like this I’ve felt neglected by the vast majority of “support” out there. Extremely socially accepted, outwardly empathetic, and rewarded people in my communities growing up and on this platform have acted quite cruel to men for being insecure or sharing certain qualities about their bodies or lifestyles. I just want this forum to succeed in that the men here show empathy towards themselves, take the power of the belittlement or emasculation or misandry out of the words and actions used against men by understanding one another. im exhausted. Im really tired of not being able to talk about this in a productive and safe way. Please be respectful to everyone. And most importantly be empathetic.
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Can we make a men’s issues community?
General Support / by aquaSpruce8551
Last post
 December 3rd
...See more I’ve been trying really hard to find any avenue of support recently. I live in a major city and there are no men’s support groups where I am. There are few listeners on here that take men’s issues seriously. Finding a therapist where I am for men’s issues is extremely difficult with very few options. And I’ve attempted to post on here about what I’m dealing with just to hear crickets. theres a women’s issues community and it’s not like men don’t go through their own trauma and their own challenges. I want to not feel like there’s zero places to turn to get help which is basically where I am right now.
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I feel pathetic and trapped
Trauma Support / by aquaSpruce8551
Last post
 October 24th
...See more I just don’t know where to turn anymore. It’s impossible to find a therapist right now where I am. I’ve tried talking to friends in the past about this. They’re not my friends anymore. No listener on here apparently is “equipped to deal with this”. I see well regarded people on here continuing to comment and be treated well despite comments they make that are hurtful and have perpetuated feelings I have because of trauma in my past. i grew up with neglectful and emotionally manipulative parents. I was a small boy and am still small as a young adult. As a teenager all of my intimate relationships were drowned in feelings of inadequacy, infidelity, and embarrassment. I had a friend who girls would often talk about because of his size. He exposed himself to me to intimidate me and make himself feel superior. We were at a party once when girls asked him to do this and he did. They glorified him for it. i have no one to talk to and help with this. I feel completely stuck and trapped in this feeling and it seems like it will never go away. But people on here feel completely justified in ignoring this, or insulting me further. I just don’t know what to do.
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Can we be better?
General Support / by aquaSpruce8551
Last post
 October 27th
...See more I’m so frequently taken aback by how cruel people can be and we really should be trying to be more respectful especially on a mental health platform like this. somone posted on an “AskMen” thread what I thought to be a pretty reasonable question. It came with a bit of subtext to what the poster was feeling at the time and I can understand their frustration. They asked “why are men so easily threatened by women who know stuff and can talk intelligently and logically?” I thought this was a bit of a leading question and overgeneralized but I get it. People, including men, can be cruel and act poorly when they don’t have a clear and healthy perspective of themselves or the world. the post below it from (Information redacted - See site guidelines ) read “because they have small……, um, egos 😂”. this is disturbing how freely I find people making comments like this. It’s gross. It’s body shaming, and it’s misogynistic. I shouldn’t have to explain why this is despicable because my point is, why do we let this happen? Why are we so willing and encouraging towards misogynistic behavior that hurts men but ultimately everyone? like seriously I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m doing everything I can to get better. I’ve had to switch therapists and because of the psychologist shortage right now that is proving very difficult. I have spent years doing research on the things that impact my self esteem, and my body image as a man, I’ve lost friends because I’ve tried to reach out to talk to them about how I’m feeling, most therapists I’ve spoken to show very little empathy towards what I’m going through as a man who’s struggling with just feeling pathetic in a variety of ways. i feel like people think men don’t do anything healthy to try and resolve their feelings but as a man I feel like I’m screaming into the void and the void is telling me to shut up. I’m exhausted. Someone please tell me I’m not crazy.
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