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anna289
2,215 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts53 Forum posts34 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 7, 2021
Recent forum posts
Did my doctor say what I think she did?
Trauma Support / by anna289
Last post
 April 2nd, 2021
...See more I had my annual physical yesterday and something took me by surprise. I’m 21 and a woman so I have to go through a Pap smear every 3 years starting at 21. I had one done last year at 20 because I had a different doctor at a different hospital who said I was close enough to that age. The doctor I have now couldn’t seem to see it in the system and asked if I’d be willing to do it anyway. I said yes and then she had me change into a gown and wait. She came in and did the routine stuff with the tools to take the sample and it was fine. She told me what she was doing but she was moving kind of quick. It went wrong when she had to use her fingers to check and I laughed because it tickled me and she didn’t give me warning before putting them in there. That’s when I swear I heard her say,”oh you like that huh?” under her breath. I was taken back but I got quiet and didn’t say anything and couldn’t. This doctor has known me since I was 2 and has also seen both my parents. How could she say something like that?
Trust Issues or Justified?
Relationship Stress / by anna289
Last post
 March 15th, 2021
...See more So been with the bf for a while but last few months I’ve been starting to worry about him cheating on me because of things he’s been doing lately. Yes I have been cheated on in a past relationship but it never really made me feel insecure cause I knew it shows more about him than me. Anyway here’s some things my current boyfriends done: works an hour to two hours overtime almost everyday(he did get promoted to assistant manager tho), snatched his phone from my hand when we were play fighting, lied about why he snatched it and said he didn’t want me to see gifts he has for me on Amazon, later told me it was cause his ig explore page keeps showing up with pictures of half naked women but he doesn’t look at them and didn’t want me to get the wrong idea, he once said we couldn’t sit in his car cause it was too dirty inside, doesn’t talk to me much on his days off unless he’s spending it with me, says not to worry about him cheating cause he just works on cars in free time but hasn’t done that in months, one time told me he couldn’t spend the whole day with me cause he had to help his dad with some yard work at like 7 at night, when I tell him of these red flags he gets defensive instead of reassuring me or even trying to make me feel better. Someone please tell me am I just feeling insecure or are all of these actual concerns?
Moving in with someone who doesn’t care about my needs
Relationship Stress / by anna289
Last post
 March 9th, 2021
...See more Boyfriend and I have been together for over two years and are moving in together in about 3 months. My parents are really strict and overprotective cause of our culture and I’m the youngest. I told them I want to move in with him and surprisingly they said yes but they want to meet him first. They know they can’t convince me to stay so they’re already planning for life without me. They’re talking about selling the house, buying another one, or moving to senior apartments. If I don’t move in with him I will be homeless. I love my boyfriend but I’m worried he just wants to live with someone and doesn’t care who it is. We had a huge fight a few weeks ago about how he doesn’t do things that I like anymore. He doesn’t talk to me as much throughout the day, he never really posts me anywhere unless it’s a special occasion or I ask why he doesn’t. When he posts me when I ask it’s usually unflattering pictures where I was trying to be funny with my faces, or put a blanket on my head, or was doing a facial mask. He posted that he was proud of me for something in school and he used a screenshot of my classes I stead of a picture of me. He also used yellow color font on white background so you couldn’t really see what he wrote and it was one of the few times he posted the words I love you to me. We didn’t talk the whole night cause I told him there has to be a consequence for him treating me this way. He said he’s going to have to get used to it...rather than just fixing the situation. Someone please help I’m stuck
Stupid fight but boyfriend doesn’t care how I feel
Relationship Stress / by anna289
Last post
 February 27th, 2021
...See more My bf and I sleep otp together and this morning when I woke up I was on paused then when I moved around to reach for my phone he came back. He claimed it was only for a second and that he was clearing his apps but I asked why he didn’t just wake me up and why that was the first thing he thought of. He said he saw me moving around so he thought he’d just close his apps really quick and come back. The thing is he constantly closes his apps and I remember he did last night. I told him I was closing all of mine and he said me too. The part where it turned into a fight is I said something I didn’t mean in an angry tone. I told him he can go back to his side hoes. Lately I have felt like something is going on with him but he just keeps saying there’s no one else for him but me. He says the only other thing he spends time on besides me is his truck...which he hasn’t worked on in maybe months. He was possessive of his phone the other day and snatched it from my hands when we were play fighting and I grabbed it. We’re supposed to move out together in about three months but I’m not happy with the way he handles emotional situations with me. I do have depression so it’s hard for me to just be happy for too long without starting to remember all these other bad things going on. This makes me get into long periods of time where I don’t feel like doing anything I don’t really talk and I just want to cry or sleep all the time. This week I had that and he saw me crying but didn’t talk to me about it and didn’t help me with what’s bothering me at all. He was more worried about getting us a puppy and things for our new home. This morning with the stupid fight he hung up on me and kept saying he wants to go shower even though he said he’d spend two hours with me before he does all that. I’m worried he’ll be like this when we live together and he’ll stop talking to me or just go out instead of “dealing” with me. What do I do or make of all this?
Brother’s a piece of s***
Family & Caregivers / by anna289
Last post
 February 13th, 2021
...See more Basically my brother and his wife sounded like they were about to have an argument and or fight and I stepped in. The background to this is they’re in their late 30s and I in my early 20s. I live with them, their kid, and our parents. My brother has a history of being depressed but also narcissistic and sexist. It’s a miracle he’s been married for as long as he has but also in our culture divorce is kind of taboo. He grew up in the US in the 80s/90s but acts like he’s living in the 50s. He has this mentality that there always needs to be a man in charge of the household cause he doesn’t think women are smart enough to do anything. He doesn’t even let his wife drive anywhere because he thinks she’ll crash. He doesn’t give her full access to money claiming she doesn’t know how to spend and will waste it. He gives her an allowance though. He literally sits anywhere in the house and constantly calls for his wife to come get and or make him things and he does this to me and my mom sometimes too. He thinks of himself as all knowing and calls himself the Internet. He thinks everyone should ask him before buying anything cause only he knows what is “worth it.” He doesn’t think things are worth anything unless it is to him. Enough background that list goes on. He was saying his wife lied about something she said to their kid and it was just a small thing he thought he heard. He was getting pretty mad over it though and got defensive when his wife tried to calmly talk to him about it. That’s when I stepped in and said his wife was right and she didn’t lie and he just heard it wrong. Then he ended up fighting me saying he wasn’t mad and I instigated a fight by putting my two cents in and that it wasn’t even about me it was between him and his family. He also got mad when I got up to go to bed. He wasn’t talking when I got up but he still fought me over it. He said I always have to be dramatic and leave ? He said I always have to win arguments and be right ? Like excuse me what? At the end of it I’m just tired. Him and his wife have stupid fights all the time and I hear them till late at night cause I have a room next to them and sometimes he throws things. When he does I go out to the hall and tell them to stop or I’ll wake up our parents. I tried to prevent all that and it turned into this. What now?
Should I pay for two promise rings?
Relationship Stress / by anna289
Last post
 February 11th, 2021
...See more Boyfriend and I have been or were together for over two years. I recently broke up with him but it’s complicated. We’re not together but it’s kind of in more of a taking time to get better way. We both expect to get better from it and come back to each other and have said this. We both have agreed we don’t want to see other people and we want to work on things. About a month ago I lost the promise ring he gave me and I offered to pay him back. He refused but I still told him I would and after basically begging he said I can. His initial reaction wasn’t to get mad but he understood these things happen. Later the emotions kicked in and he got mad but I understood it. We got better and settled I’ll pay him back and he’ll use the money to buy me the same one. I guess I’m saying I’m paying to replace it. I recently got a full time job but that last about 2 weeks to a month. This at least give me money while I look for a more stable one but I still make a decent amount to pay him back with just this job alone. Here’s the part where I’m confused and frustrated but don’t know if I have a right to be. He was frustrated with me this morning because he told me he bought another ring and I was upset it’s not the same one. For some reason he also made it a point to say it has less diamonds than the last. I was disappointed because I wanted the same one as before cause that’s the one he originally chose and it was special to me to have what he picked for me. I got angry when he told me the only reason why he got a different ring is cause he was too embarrassed to tell the sales person that I lost the ring. He said when he used to work there people made jokes saying if a girl lost a ring she didn’t want it. I still told him he shouldn’t have let something like that stop him from getting me the same ring we both want back. He’s trying to cancel the different ring now. However, he now seems to be asking for double the money for the ring. He wants me to pay for both the one I lost and the one to replace it. I’m ok with doing this if it’s the right thing to do but the way I see it is he bought me one ring because he wanted to. That’s money I would never have had to give him because it was a gift. I’m trying to pay him for one ring either the one that’s lost or the new one but they’re the same price. In the moment I said I’d pay for both without really thinking about it. He said he wants to wait to buy the ring now until I have a more stable job but he already tried to buy another ring without me having that. I told him he doesn’t trust me and he said yes he doesn’t. What do I even do here?
I think my supervisor likes me and I don’t know if I need to bring it up to my bf
Relationship Stress / by anna289
Last post
 January 28th, 2021
...See more I’ve been in a relationship for a little over two years and I absolutely love my boyfriend more than anything. Today I had my first day at this new job and we’re cleaning motherboards. All we did so far was training on how to clean them and this guy who seems like he’s a few years older than me was showing us how to do it. I was in a group with about five other people and he went to all of us and showed us how to clean and what to look for. He told us to try to do one ourselves and he would check. I thought I was done but when he checked he pointed out two spots. I cleaned them then he pointed out another two. At one point he asked for my name and he kind of just stared at me when I looked up at him to correct him when he said it wrong. I thought he was annoyed at it because I kept messing up cleaning. I started feeling weird more when he started giving me extra supplies like more brushes or skewers to clean with but wasn’t doing that for the others unless they seemed to ask. He also kept staring at me the whole time at any point. He would make eye contact with me and wouldn’t look away for whatever reason. I felt like I was being watched the whole time. I know I might be reading into this too much but if this person does like me I feel uncomfortable working with them. I’m also not sure if it’s something to bring up with my boyfriend cause if I don’t tell him it feels like I’m hiding something but I just don’t know if it’s big enough to make him concerned because I don’t know if this person is for sure being weird around me at work. If someone were doing that to my boyfriend I’d want to know but I don’t want to make him worry or make it sound like it matters a lot to me how this stranger might feel about me. What do I do?
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