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ana26baka
3 222 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 25, 2020
Bio

they/them • 20• autistic • artist • lesbian 

Recent forum posts
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TW: COCSA…i think?
Trauma Support / by ana26baka
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more i was just thinking about this randomly. a bit of a longer story…. • • • but when i was 5 i had this friend who i considered my best friend like i would go to her house many times after school for playdates. and i remembered that i told her i had a crush on this boy in my class but she said the only way he would like me back if i had s3% with her. Now at the time i had NO idea what that meant. she explained it to me. and *** i agreed but still i still didnt understand.  Anyways we “did it” one day when i was over her house. she had a whole plan and i basically said yea to go along. Now thinking back she was always sort of s3xu4l. she had older teen siblings so that could’ve been an influence in what she hears + sees. But ever since that happened I frankly have had this weird feeling in my gut when it came to anything sexual. I can admit at one point i was pretty hyper s3xu4l in my teens but now im completely turned off by the idea like even simple physical touch is awkward and sorta unwanted. idk am i reaching? i really pushed this situation down as a kid and tried to forget but its a memory i can see clearly :/  if you read all this ty. 
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to much damage and i need to stop tw
Self-Harm Recovery / by ana26baka
Last post
 December 9th
...See more uugghhh why do i do that. now i have major headache.  whenever i get overwhelmed, stressed, upset or or just feeling rly negative emotions towards myself i just h1t my h3ad many times. ive been sh-ing that way since i was like 10 and im currently 20. but ifc the older i get the stronger the hit. this time there was an immediate headache and today that headache is still present. (i took some medicine to help) i just wanna stop bc i know the damage can be really bad but im also autistic so when those feelings happen i get so overstimulated that the sh is also a stim, but its injuring so i really cant keep on.😣
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