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amicableZebra1684
378 M Embraced 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts29 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 1, 2024
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Recent forum posts
Social anxiety
Anxiety Support / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 July 30th
...See more 3 days ago there was an field visit of my class , I only attended this class bc it's my minor/optional subject, but I loved it always and when I got to know abt this visit I decided I'm going , but my friends which also had this class as minor class were not coming due to their respective reasons ,.so I was left alone with the other students of class , whom I'm friends with actually but not much close , bc it's just twice the week we meet for class , so to next day , at visit, I found myself alone , everyone had their groups , and i didn't, I tried to squeeze myself in , but i couldn't, I was alone all the time , even ate myself alone at the corner , I was so apart I was not in any photos taken , nor i dared to , as for visit, it was good I learnt things , but the part of socialisation made it one of my worst day of my life. I tried hard to interract but i couldn't, my social anxiety is going pretty worse day by day , idk how do I deal with it.
Confused
Relationship Stress / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 August 5th
...See more I had a girl who i had a massive crush on for 6-7 months. We used to share same class , after 7-8 months i decided to finally start approaching her , rather than direct approach, i decided to know her well first , so we became friends , had phone numbers , even got in common friends group chats , atp I was crushing hard , I was started understanding her , but one night as I was just going through few common frnds we had. I found a senior guy from her class. And I found she actually was his girlfriend (we both are freshmens in clg while that guy just graduated from clg as our first year came to end). I was devasted but my thought process was , she's perfect one , but not the one for me *** , I moved on that time , it's been 4 months now for that , we both are in same class for our second year ,I see her daily ,but I stopped interracting much ,bc there's nothing to , I don't wanna be in frnd or bro zones. But from some week in past , I've found myself disliking her for some reason, idk why , but randomly I started not liking her , there's no jealousy or anything in between but then why am I hating on someone I have nothing to do with ? Is this common with everyone? Yes I don't have any feelings rn for her , even she gets single , idk i won't even try to hit on her.
What is love ?
Relationship Stress / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 August 2nd
...See more What is love , I'm not just talking about relationship or romantic partners , but what is considered as love ? As for me , I've never experienced love myself, nor anyone has loved me till this day, what it is , how do I know I'm in love , or will anyone love me ? Atp I'm genuinely confused
Day 5,6 and 7 of fixing my Eating Disorder
Eating Disorder Support / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 July 29th
...See more ( I will try to give daily updates on my diet , but sometimes I get too busy due to clg work is getting on , so in such times I will give updates of multiple days all toghether) Day 5 (26jul) - Unfortunately I got bit sick bc it's rainy season here and monsoon has picked up it's full power , due to my trek I was wet all day , result in coughing and sneezing,.so I had medicinal herbs tea , but diet remained as it is Day 6 (27jul) - I actually ate less today bc i had my lunch so late that I was full till my dinner , but I got a light dinner Day 7 (28jul) - again, my nose is blocked , and I felt feverish today , every Sunday of my week is basically my off diet day , but all I eat on Sundays is rice , along with pulses , grains ,. vegetables , and I make sure not to over eat it , I don't eat rice all along week , I get prepared tiffins for whole week , but Sunday's I make myself , i can cook , but Sundays , I like to chill and relax , so I cook rice and some vegetable , have rest day , and study
Fixing my Eating Disorder: Day 3 & 4
Eating Disorder Support / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 July 28th
...See more For.day 3 : I didn't hurt gym ,had.my steps goal done , and diet on track Day 4 : i actually went for a Trek so I ate bit out , but had my excise and cardio done , overall, it's in better condition rather than just aimlessly eating , I kept myself in control avoiding sugar , and other things I'm not to in my diet for cutting
I don't have a personality
Self-Esteem / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 July 24th
...See more i believe I don't have personality which is a reason for my low self esteem and depression. I can say it all started from 2020 , I was an extroverted guy , I was in class 10th during 2020 , as lockdown hit , I was suddenly cut off with my frnds from like 9-10 months untill everything started but that's when I realised I was the only one cut off from literally my every single frnd i had that time , they all were in group chats , having fun during that time , it's not like they didn't had my contact, they just didn't included me ,that's when I realised how fake all were they and this was reason my self esteem began to shatter I was forced to be introvert, i couldn't talk with anyone then , not even later in my college, highschool, I was literally spending time talking with online strangers bc i couldn't talk ppl irl , I had trust and attachment issues ever since. Fast forward to 2023 , I moved to another city for my UG degree , I thought I will definitely change here , bc I was preparing a bit, I had started gym a year ago to get in shape , many online frnds supported me that time , , when I joined college, the main thing strike me again , I was not able to talk with anyone, especially with girls. It took me 4 months just to get noticed my a random guy in class to approach me , btw I'm good in studies so I was kinda being used by everyone in my life bc of that , his intention was same but still he talked with me , we became frnds , not just for notes but good frnds , and soon I was in group. But still the main thing was ,I was feeling alone , lonely everytime, I live alone here I don't have any close person, I never had a gf or any much close frnd. I saw many couples around me I was jealous of them bc they are enjoying their lives where I'm struggling myself. I had online relationships , but never irl , I can confidently say I'm good enough to get any girl , but only online , im not confident enough to speak in public Till today , 2024 , I'm still single , I just want to be feel what love is , and only thing that's stopped me is my low self esteem. I'm getting severely depressed because of this. Watching happy ppl toghether, I had several breakdowns since January till today that I must have not cried that much in my entire life , even tried offing my self once but didn't, I have deep jealousy issues too , i get jealous even seeing two ppl fighting , like i want that too. All of this , but one day I just scrolled through a common frnds who kinda rejected me indirectly saying she wanted someone just like me , but not me. I saw her bfs profile , i stalked him , that's when I realised, I don't have a personality, I'm literally nothing. For example, that guy had photography as hobby, was studying computer science, had good looks , was good in talking too , I know i shouldn't compare myself to him but I was jealous for some reason. I don't know what I'm going through, I'm really depressed i just want to talk with someone about it , what is actually a personality ? Do I have anything others would like , tbh the question is do i have anything I like ? Please can anyone relate with or help me ? I'm 20 rn , this all started when I was 16. It's been long time I'm facing all this ***
Day 2 - Fixing my Eating Disorder
Eating Disorder Support / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 August 4th
...See more I would keep it short , i followed my diet thoroughly, had few instances of temptations but when the motivation is hard enough , nothing can beat it Done with my every exercise goals aswell today , inshort everything done successfully today.
Day 1 - Fixing my Eating Disorder
Eating Disorder Support / by amicableZebra1684
Last post
 July 31st
...See more As i promised I've started my journey to fix my Eating Disorder to get healthy life from now. Thank you so much everyone who showed me support for my last post , I can't be more grateful to you guys ❤️❤️ Day 1 - I would say it was rough start , i messed up while making my breakfast and due to my tight schedule of college, I had to eat something out , but i managed to control myself enough just to eat what I need rather than munching on anything I see. And after college I made sure to burn those extra calories in gym right after my college (I need a nice breakfast bc I just go directly to gym after my college bc I have a long travel distance and my gym and college are close to each other while my house is bit far from both , so had to tick off those two in one go to save time ) I do cardio and strength training in gym but along with that I have a set goal of 15k steps , i did 11.7k steps today, i didn't managed to get it done but I will tomorrow. Overall i consider this as a fair start , because my avg steps last week were like 4 to 5 k while I ate alot and didn't went gym . I'm tired right now but I think I will have a good sleep today (I also suffer insomnia). This will all help in fixing my sleep Schedule too. For y'all everyone, i actually haven't weighed myself rn (I'm bit scared and ashamed bc of my habits) but I will weigh myself and let y'all know it before this week gets over so that you can watch my progress better. If anyone is reading this till now , thanks alot 😇 , I won't disappoint anyone in my journey.
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