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amiableLemon9124
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PathStep 6 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 9, 2025
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Wife had multiple affairs, both physical and emotional
Relationship Stress / by amiableLemon9124
Last post
 6 hours ago
...See more I'm at a loss right now. I've been married for over 20 years. But about the 9th year, I suspected she was cheating. I had no proof, just suspicion. She denied denied denied. Well, this drove a huge wedge between us. I just felt in my gut that she wasn't being honest. She had this guy friend, and they were way too affectionate towards each other. I told her it made me uncomfortable, and asked her to stop, but she said, "eww, he's like a brother to me". Anyways, I overheard some things being said at a party, and I spoke up, and they said they were talking about someone else. But I didn't believe them. So she denied it, and a few months later, I noticed weird Internet history. Someone was googling motorcycle repair questions, and looking at parts. So I asked if the guy has ever been our house. She said no, then I showed her the history, and she said yes he used the computer. 😔 I told her to never have men in my house while I wasn't there, she knew this. She apologized and said I was overreacting... Well things got better, then they got worse. She became an alcoholic, she wouldn't work, and she was mean all of the time. So I started to resent her. We didn't sleep in the same room for almost two years. We both come from a broken home, and wanted to stay together for the kids. So anyways, she continued to drink everyday for years. But we were trying to make it work. We still fought about her drinking, and money mostly. But I couldn't get her to get a job. Well she ended up getting a job... And cheating with a co worker, and a family friend, and an acquaintance. I kind of did her dirty, I lied and told her I had an affair years ago. And that my suspicious behavior was probably just guilt. She spilled the beans and said she cheated once too. Well I had a name, and I started investigating. I looked at her Google maps location, and she was at his house 6 times, 4 of those times were for over two hours. Then her *** messenger. A guy I know was messaging her, asking why she won't call him anymore. When I confronted her, she flew into a fit of rage. But eventually admitted to having sex with him, too. But she talked to him for over 4 years 😭. When things were bad, and when they were good. So now, since she was so reluctant to admit things, I'm worried that there's more. So, i told her, if there's anything else, you NEED to tell me. Because the lying is the worst part. If I find out you're lying about anything else I'm done. So now I've created this anxiety, that I'm gonna find something, or someone's gonna tell me something. Anyways I'm really confused, heartbroken, and having a hard time trusting what she says based on her past lies. What should I do?
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