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americanguineapig
1 11,022 M Pacing Forward 5
PathStep 24 Compassion hearts216 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes25 Current upvotes25 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceAugust 14, 2022
Recent forum posts
promiscuous past
Relationship Stress / by americanguineapig
Last post
 December 19th, 2023
...See more I have a very promiscuous past and regret all of it. I slept around for a while to numb feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, etc. It’s made my life so much more difficult in many aspects. I’m always upfront with potential romantic partners (not sexual) about this and the majority of them are disgusted and want nothing to do with me, make comments, call me names, etc. They have also felt concerned about my capacity to feel emotion and not cheat. I understand all of it, and I take responsibility for everything I’ve been a part of, but is it really normal or fair to hate someone because of their sexual past? I know I’m a loving partner and I’m incredibly loyal. I’m honest and upfront. It’s just much harder to find someone when so many men have this preconceived idea that women with a high “body count” are liars, cheaters, low value, etc. I just want to feel like I can be forgiven, choose purity, and move on with a good partner. No judgment or rude comments.
Frustrating Job
Work & Career / by americanguineapig
Last post
 August 5th, 2023
...See more I recently just started a new job and it's awful. For better context I'm a server at a senior living centre. I'd say 90% of the residents are friendly and patient. I can take constructive criticism and will obviously fix any mistakes and listen to what they want, but this one lady is just so rude and insufferable. For example, if you get her coffee too fast, you're rude because you didn't wait for her to sit and get settled down, but if it takes too long, you're stupid AND rude because you're slow and inattentive. Another time she hadn't wanted toast with breakfast the past few days and made me take it away when I served the plate, but then when I delivered a plate without it because the cook knew she didn't want it, she got mad at me. And she got mad when I took the plate back to the kitchen to fix it even though I obviously can't do it in front of her. There is literally no winning with this woman, she always has something rude and unnecessary to say, and can even be rude to other residents. I'm friendly and compensate for any mistakes or something she doesn't like, and my supervisor and coworkers say she's rude to anyone and not to take it personally but it's hard when I have to deal with her behaviour often. Advice welcome.
Post breakup help
Relationship Stress / by americanguineapig
Last post
 July 16th, 2023
...See more Recently broke up with my ex. We finally cut contact today, and it was really hard to let go. I'm having trouble with the thought that I'll have trouble finding love again, and if I do, I won't be satisfied. He raised my standards so, so much. Overall, the breakup was the best choice, but I've never had an amicable breakup where we were both sad to see it end and have good memories of each other. Thinking of moving forward, especially with someone else, makes me feel really sick. I feel like nobody could even compare to him. I'd never been treated so well and I fear I'll never have it again. I'm genuinely crushed. I feel very stuck, I've barely been able to function and my thoughts keep looping back to that I'll never be able to move on, my next relationship won't compare, and I'll always be nostalgic and unhappy because I dated him.
Recent Breakup
Newbie Hub / by americanguineapig
Last post
 July 13th, 2023
...See more I had a really recent breakup and I'm not at all coping well. There were issues beforehand, often on my side, and I think we often drained each other and felt stressed out. I think we were both willing to make it work until I had a really bad, almost a break from reality type of panic attack in his care where I screamed to be let out and sobbed all the way home. I knew the relationship was coming to an end, so I told him it was best to break up and he left. We texted a bit later once I'd de-escalated and called my therapist, and we got to the point where he said the panic attack scared him and he didn't even know what to do anymore and knew he was in over his head, and that he didn't love me enough to continue being with me, especially if there would be more days like that. I just feel so terrible. He really was the whole package to me. I'd never been treated so well, it was really wonderful most of the time, but my mental illness got in the way a lot and made me turn on him and feel low self-esteem and paranoia and sensitivity. I was often worried he'd abandon me for something better because I always felt he was too good for me, at least in the looks department. This could sometimes make me lash out. I'd always apologize quickly, but I see how it could be draining. I'm really crushed. I feel like I'll never find something that great again, and it hurts to know he'll move on soon enough even though I'm already trying to. I keep blaming myself and feeling like if I wasn't just so crazy he would still love me and none of this would have happened.
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