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affectionateAcai8502
153 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceAugust 19, 2022
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when I was a kid
Trauma Support / by affectionateAcai8502
Last post
 September 1st, 2022
...See more So, i'm now in my thirties, but i've never posted anything about this before or even really faced it. There are things I don't remember. So, bare with me if there's some holes in this story. When I was about 7ish I'd say... My dad had a friend named Tim, Tim was a tall slender guy with glasses that worked in a parking lot booth. I have nightmares about someone with glasses following me, trying to find me, me desperately hiding in a place that didn't hide me at all. In real life, I think I was hiding from Tim in my closet, and that's where he sexually assaulted me. (it had enough room for two people, and i'm not sure how many times this happened) I'm not sure how far it went or not, but I suddenly was very sexually confused after that. I remember my mom told my father she didn't want Tim coming around anymore because "He looked at me funny". I never said anything, and I feel in my gut it was because he told me he'd kill my parents, or a threat of some sort like that. I don't remember the timelines of these events but, also, my mom took me to her work one day. She had her coworker Nathan watch me, I thought it was innocent of course, I was definitely under age 10. He sat me on his lap and assured my mom we would play computer games or something, next thing I know he's touching me through my leggings and putting my hair behind my ear telling me he wanted to be my boyfriend and if i was okay with it. I felt pressured and said yes and sat there more, I started to get really uncomfortable with his hand touching my crotch so I told him i'd be right back because I had to pee. I went to my moms office and sat there then we left. On the ride home, I had decided to tell my mom about Nathan because I felt in my gut it was wrong. She said "HE DID WHAT?!" and dropped me off at home and went back to her work and got him fired - I think? I never knew what the outcome was, my mom didn't take it to court or anything I think because she was scared she'd get in trouble for leaving me alone. Fast forward I think maybe i'm 10/11? not sure, One of my dads friends is around again, his name was Lance. Lance came over often, one of my dads younger friends, he was in a relationship with a girl who I saw him throw against a wall in an arguement. I think I had developed a crush on him and went and made out with him, All I remember is "no, stop" but no actual move to get me off of him. From what I remember it was a full physical makeout He was definitely in his 20s or something I feel like this ^^ is one reason I now have borderline personality disorder. I am now in a relationship that is extremely healthy with a guy who bends over backwards for me. I couldn't be luckier, but I must face these monsters from my past. Any advice for someone who has never dealt with sexual trauma before?
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