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Zhaori
368 M Embraced 3
PathStep 82 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 19, 2021
Bio
───── 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄 ─────
𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲
𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐉 | 𝟒𝐰𝟓 | 𝐬𝐨/𝐬𝐱 | 𝟒𝟏𝟓
𝐀𝐜𝐞 | 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 | 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐱
#𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 + 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃-𝐏𝐈 ‎

─── 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 ───
• 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫
• 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬
• 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥

─── 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑 ───
• 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐢𝐚
• 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐲𝐦𝐢𝐚
• 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚
• 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
• 𝐄𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐲𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
• 𝐆𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫
• 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫
• 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐲𝐬𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚
• 𝐌𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫
• 𝐏𝐃𝐃 & 𝐌𝐃𝐃 (𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧)
Recent forum posts
Biracial experience with internalised racism and colourism
Young People of Color / by Zhaori
Last post
 February 22nd, 2021
...See more For as long as I can remember, everyone has told me who I am. Most told me I was Asian, but surprisingly, the people closest to me disagreed. My Asian father, who was teased about his ethnicity throughout high school, told me I was Hispanic. My biracial mother told me I was French. She preferred that side of her heritage, and even though I had inherited less of it, she hoped it shone through. When I talked about being Asian, she told me that I wasn't. Instead, she insisted that I was Pacific Islander. I had to prove to my own parents that I was part Asian. And to the rest of the world, I had to prove that I was more than that. That I was more than they could see. I was so tired of feeling like parts of me were being erased, so I took a DNA test. It was physical evidence that people could no longer ignore (though I could see clear discomfort on my mother's face when I showed her the results). And despite the fact that people still tell me I'm "basically just Asian," I now feel like I finally know myself. I can celebrate all aspects of what makes me who I am, regardless of what others claim. However, colourism is still a powerful antagonist in my life. Before I even started school, I wished so badly to have blond hair and blue eyes. The people around me reinforced the idea that dark skin was 'ugly'. I was called many slurs as a child, including the n-slur. All because I had dark skin and lived in a Caucasian community. This manifested into a hatred for my own colour. I began avoiding the sun and wearing hoodies in the summer so I wouldn't tan. One day, my mother used an exfoliator on my face, and I noticed it lightened my skin. Soon after, I became addicted to exfoliating. I got paler and paler until I was even lighter than my father's white girlfriend. I realised it was a problem when I used sandpaper on my own skin. Now, I feel less distressed when I tan. I'm able to go outside in a t-shirt without a sun umbrella. I'm not as pale anymore either. I'm still insecure, but as I've researched and written reports on colourism, I have learned to feel better about myself.
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