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WolfOwl
152 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2019 Member sinceDecember 24, 2018
Recent forum posts
All kinds of exhausted
Depression Support / by WolfOwl
Last post
 May 5th, 2019
...See more I don't know if I'm even posting in the right community but recently I'm just exhausted with myself and everything around. Things have been absolutely hell, I try not to worry too much but end up overworrying. I hate that I'm a coward, I hate that I get easily irritated, I hate that I get passive aggressive at times and I hate that I'm selfish. There're just so much that I hate about myself. I tried thinking positive and getting myself motivated, which for the first week or so surprisingly worked, the negativity wasn't creeping up on me that much anymore, but things still came crushing down. I don't think that I'm worth it, I feel like everyone around me deserves way better, and if there's one person I hate the most in this world, it would be myself. I'm exhausted emotionally and mentally, sometimes I wish I could just throw away my emotions so that I don't have to feel again. I've definitely thought about suicide, but I'm not the type to act on it for one, I'm deathly afraid, and two, there're so many things that I can't let go. I'm a tired and confused mess. I'm unsure of how to keep going.
Many times it gets rather scary
Depression Support / by WolfOwl
Last post
 February 4th, 2019
...See more When you are very much aware of what these depressing and negative thoughts are doing to you and yet you're feeling powerless to stop them. I've recently been doing some self reflecting again and realising that there's nothing that I like about myself. I can definitely pick out tons of flaws and things I don't like about myself, but not a single point that I like. If there's a person that I hate the most in this world, that would be me. I understand that this is a pretty self deprecating thought, but it's there and difficult to get rid of. Nowadays I'm no longer sure if I can find the motivation to get by everyday life anymore (no I don't think I'm suicidal, I'm more terrified of death than anything). Most days off I just find myself lying in bed watching videos, randomly browsing the internet and not attempting to do what I had planned in my mind. I couldn't even find the motivation to continue with my hobby nowadays which is drawing. Ironically I don't take my own advice at all despite advising others and telling them what essentially I should follow as well. I'm no longer sure at this point if it's just plain procrastination or something deeper that's the cause. Thanks for listening.
An Intro
Depression Support / by WolfOwl
Last post
 January 24th, 2019
...See more Warning: Long Intro Hello there, I'm pretty new to 7Cups and decided to drop by here since I've been hearing good things about this community online. I suppose I should start off with an intro about myself. I'm WolfOwl, you can either call me Wolf or Owl, either works and I'm currently a 20 years old. Honestly I'm not quite sure if I do actually have depression because it has never been officially diagnosed, but I tend to believe that I do (at least possibly mild depression?) with all negative thoughts that would battle with my coherent thoughts almost daily. My childhood was relatively normal aside from the year when I was 7 when I got bullied for being overweight, but that I don't think was quite the cause of it because the years after until 13 were some of the best years I've ever had. 13 was when things started to go downhill when I graduated, went into a new school and new school year. It was the most miserable 4 years of my life because I wasn't able to fit in and sorta got into self-harm (with the whole wall punching and all, though thankfully this stopped, I still have some slight visible scars from it). Things got better after the 4 years ended but the negative thoughts didn't quite go away. Some fun facts about myself: -I have an online "observational diary" where I record at times how I'm feeling and it's basically a self-reflection sorta thing. - My dream pet is a cat. (Or rather a black cat to be more specific)
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