WTF0am0I0gonna0do Member Profile

...See more I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, ADHD, Generalized Anxiety, and Depression. The depression used to be minor because it was more Bipolar, but lately has worsened to the point that I no longer enjoy anything. I seem to have lost the ability to feel happiness, joy, or satisfaction somehow. I am also an addict - the drugs the doctors put me on are worthless placebos to me, and the only thing that's ever helped is hard drugs. Believe it or not though, that's only a small part the problem I need help with. When I was released from a psychiatric facility a couple years ago I moved back in with my mother, and with her help was able to finally obtain Disability/Medicaide/etc. They sent me back-pay of around $5000. I did not touch this money and left it in a bank account that my Mom co-manages (they don't trust me enough to give the money to me). I also get around $800/month, and pay her #300/mo. rent. The rest of the monthly check went into my savings account (to go toward a car, or home, or some future disaster). But I noticed the amount kept decreasing instead of increasing. One day I asked, just to reassure myself it was still there, what the amount was, and it had gone down to $3000, without me buying ANYTHING. Mom is a staunchly moral, Christian woman who I'd never known to lie (until this mess). But it got worse: she asked if I wanted to buy my sister's old car for about $1200 - which I did, without knowing it needed a lot of repair work. Without asking me, she used the remaining money in the account to pay for the repairs. I was broke now, but at least I jad a car to show for it, right? Wrong. Soon after, while I was researching and coming to realize I could never afford the insurance to actually drive the thing, my sister fell ill. Seriously ill, has to breathe through a machine and needs a lung transplant. Since she could no longer afford payments on her extravagant car, our mother offered to let her use the one I went broke paying for. She did this quite without my knowledge or permission. My sis immediately, promptly, wrecked it. Without insurance. They were able to borrow enough from family to get it repaired again, but she's STILL driving it, and I've not heard a word of thanks or gratitude from her, incidentally. But it's not like I can just tell my sister, who's suffering so much right now, to give the car back or pay me back the money before it's too late and she's dead. When I've tried to initiate a discussion about how I'm supposed to get my car/money back, my mother plays the "Do you have any idea how much I've spent on you in your lifetime?" Which isn't exactly fair - that money, by law, was supposed to go to me, to help me get my life back on track, maybe pay for some kind of school tuition, clothes for me, food, and maybe gifts for my little boy. Instead, she seems to take great care to remind him of the my and ineffectuality at every turn (ever hear of something called "Grandmother Hunger"? She's got it bad). I'm not insensitive to my sister's plight. I just don't like how I've been manipulated and lied to because they both felt entitled to that little pittance of petty cash that was the most money I've ever had at one time in my life (sad, I know...trade lives with me?). Please help me decide what to do. I CAN actually file a complaint with the social security people, but it would likely result in me becoming instantly homeless when she had to answer for it. She might even be charged criminally, which I don't want. I swear, I jave problems that no one else in the history of the world has ever had before, so there's no precedent to guide me.

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