Vega7779 Member Profile

...See more hey there I feel horrible for saying this, but I have to because I'm hopeless now. I'm a sophomore in college, and I have no life of my own. My parents provided what you can call a good life, I had a roof above my head, food on the table everyday, clothes to keep me warm and we always paid the bills. They were emotionally unavailable, I couldn't tell them I was sad because the first time I did, they said I had no reason to be because others had it worse. they said I was ungrateful because they sacrificed so much for me. That was the last time I told them how I really felt. But I appreciate their sacrifices, a lot. But the thing is, they're so controlling, to the point where I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm 20, can't go out alone, can't hang out with friends, can't smile at my phone, can't talk to guys, and the list goes on... I became an introvert because it was easier pretending that I don't like going on rather than feeling I'm forced to stay home. I developed severe anxiety, a horrible social anxiety, attachment issues and people pleasing habits. I had bad relationships with people because I didn't know how to set boundaries. I wanted to get an ear piercing and was so excited that I kept telling my mother everyday for the past 5 months. last week, I went with her to ask how much it would cost, and she agreed she'd let me get one. I was busy with college so I didn't have time until yesterday. On my way home from college, I went and did the piercing and I was so happy I felt like a 10 year old again. She called me and I told her I got a piercing and she got so mad I had to hung up the phone because the doctor heard her yelling through the phone. When I arrived home, she was waiting for me, and the moment she saw me, she burst into yelling that I made her feel like her words didn't matter. I told her she said I could do it and she got even more angry. She said I could do it only If she was with me and not alone(I swear she never said that). we fought and I yelled at her saying "look at me, what am i doing with my life? It's just a piercing" . She said that it always starts with tiny stuff, and then I'll be doing stuff without her permission. and since yesterday, she's been giving me the silent treatment waiting for me to apologize. Idk what to do and I can't move out. I just need to know that they'd change one day and see me as a human being before I'm their daughter.

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