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UglyDarling
974 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts110 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2020 Member sinceMarch 19, 2015
Recent forum posts
Missing him
Relationship Stress / by UglyDarling
Last post
 March 24th, 2019
...See more So, I met someone I am head over heels with. We dated for almost two years and it was the best two years of my life. I am totally smitten and hoped to end up with him. I had never felt this way about anyone and was completely dedicated. I tried so hard to everything right. About 7 months ago he called it off. He immediately started dating someone else and I have been completely destroyed since he broke up with me. He was adamant about being friends because he considered me his "best friend" even if he didn't feel much beyond that. I tried to be his friend because I thought maybe we could make it work someday. I recently said I couldn't be friends and explained why and he ultimately ignored what I said and cut me off (justifiably, I don't blame him). I really just couldn't be friends, I want more and hoping to get more was taking a toll on me. I feel like I'm just stuck in this hole that I can't get out of. I've tried dating and I'm just disgusted with myself and even the idea of someone else. I thought it'd subside eventually, like anything. I've tried starting fresh, even found a new job somewhere I always wanted to live, made new friends, but every day I wake up depressed, with my throat and stomach heavy and it takes a lot for me not to my cry all day. I feel very pathetic for feeling this way and not being able to move on after months. I feel really expendable and I also feel like no matter what I do I'll never be good enough.
Highly Functioning Depression
Depression Support / by UglyDarling
Last post
 March 25th, 2017
...See more I know it seems like an oxymoron but I am insanely active but still struggling with crippling depression. Everyday I get up, exercise, complete all my tasks at work (active duty military), go to grad school, work out again, read, cook, clean... basically all the things most people with depression wish they could get done in a month I knock out in a day. However, every morning I have to pep talk myself out of bed. Half the reason I'm showing up to work is because I dont want attention drawn to myself. I'm tempermental, my thoughts race, I put an insane amount of effort to focus, I'm constantly fatigued, and I feel terrible about myself. Even though I accomplish such and such things, I feel like I accomplished nothing. I'm filled with self loathing I can't look at myself in the mirror. I see no future for myself and constantly wish I would wake up. I can't build relationships with people because I pick the wrong people or I push people away. People often walk all over me and use me. When people recommend ways to fight depression, I do a lot of those things. But I still feel so empty inside. How do others with highly functioning depression deal with things?
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