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Tweetybird15
1,693 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts74 Forum posts20 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceApril 6, 2021
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I’m either amazing, or an idiot
35 & Over Community / by Tweetybird15
Last post
 September 1st, 2022
...See more Ok. So the argument today was because I realized he had been lying by way of omission about a friend of his. The friend (let’s call her Amy) is married to another friend of his (let’s call him Mark). They have two kids together. When I met them, things felt off. My husband & I were living in Europe planning to do the RV/travel life. So we didn’t have an address, which is a legal requirement. He asked them if we could pay them to store a few things in a guest room and use their address as our residence. Amy made a deal of it saying we needed to come over so we could talk about it. We went over and she hemmed and hawed over it saying she had to make sure it wouldn’t be an issue. After that, she said we needed to come over to discuss it again. I told my husband to forget it because it wasn’t that serious. We could figure it out. I felt weird about it because it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. And if it was, just say no. I personally felt like she was enjoying it though. Time passes. My husband & Mark decide to start running together again. And Amy wants to hang out with me while they run. So we hang out and go for a walk. And I just got a vibe from her that I couldn’t explain. But it made me uncomfortable. Afterwards, I told my husband that we had a nice time, but I wouldn’t be doing it again. And he was quite disappointed. He had hopped I could be friends with his two besties. From then, I avoided Amy & Mark like COVID. Sometime later, I end up stuck in another country alone while flying back to Europe. My husband comes to help me get my papers sorted with the Embassy. And then Mark calls. Mark is jealous that we’re in another country on vacation and my husband wants invite him to join us. I remind my husband that we’re not on vacation and that I’m stuck. Eventually we get the papers sorted, but we don’t know if everything is official until I fly out. In the meantime, Mark & my husband decide it’s a perfect time to finally take that trip to Italy. And off they go. I’m still stuck in another country. Time passes again. I forgive and move on. Now, my husband & I are thinking about buying a house. It’s a new development. Amy & Mark already own their home. My husband tells Mark our plans. Mark decides he & Amy should buy a 2nd house in the same development. I tell husband I am no longer interested. I have no desire to have my life more enmeshed with these people. But the 3 of them all go off to meet with the realtor. I am dumbfounded, but we didn’t buy that house…. and neither did they. Time passes…..again. I forgive - again. Mark and Amy have their 2nd baby. And within 2 weeks, they want to bring their family to our house. I say, “Hell no.” Infants don’t sleep regularly. Their baby is not about to keep me up at night. And who takes their newborn to stay at someone else’s house? Time passes - you know how this works. After a conversation about another topic, my husband finally reveals that he had been in love with Amy for years (before we met). And that Mark, swooped in and stole her. First, why are you still friends with someone who would do that to you? He’s either an amazing person or an idiot. And second, all this time he made it seem like I was wrong for feeling off about them. The games Amy played in the beginning were all in my head. When the truth is that there’s some history there. So she was able to play mind games and size me up - and I didn’t have the slightest idea of my husband’s true history with her or Mark. Each scenario was its own disagreement. But to find out that he was in love with her for years, and just failed to mention it? Now, I’m either really amazing or an idiot.
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Dealing with In-Laws
35 & Over Community / by Tweetybird15
Last post
 August 4th, 2021
...See more My husband and I are newlyweds. We married less than 2 months ago with a virtual wedding, but I was out of the country at the time. Needless to say, we’ve been married since June, but we were separated for 3 months. And now, we’ve been living together as a married couple for only a week. And his mom already wants to come visit with her friend for a tourist trip in a few days. Is it wrong for in-laws to want to come visit a newlywed couple within their first two weeks of marriage?
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Am I Being Unreasonable - Dealing w/ In-Laws
35 & Over Community / by Tweetybird15
Last post
 August 18th, 2021
...See more Hi guys! I’m dealing with an in-law issue and could use some feedback. So my husband and I are newlyweds. We were living together before we were married. Then I had to return to my home country for three months to deal with some things. My husband and I had a virtual wedding during that time. Now, I just got back 6 days ago. And we’re dealing with some marital issues. We’re also completing a move that had to be paused while I was away, so our place isn’t completely furnished yet. We’re living out of boxes and still needing to order furniture or assemble furniture. I also injured myself while traveling back and was on bed rest within my first 6 days. Needless to say, now ain’t the time for an in-law visit. Yet, my husband told me (not asked) that his mom and her friend would be coming to visit soon. In the past, I’ve always been open to her coming to visit. I’ve bent over backwards to host beautiful lunches & teas for her visits. And we’ve even allowed her to stay in our home for months at at time while we’re traveling. But this time, it’s not a good time. It’s his mom, so I don’t want to say no. But I also don’t feel obligated to make any efforts to entertain them. I’m a little shocked that everyone thinks it’s okay to visit a newlywed couple within their first two weeks of living together. Not to mention, I haven’t been in the best physical state and we’re still unpacking & settling into our new home. I generally feel that his friends and family make ridiculous requests. Ex: Before I even made it back, his best friend asked if their friends (people we don’t know) could rent our entire home for a week for an insulting amount of money. (It wouldn’t even cover our hotel costs). Why would I be okay with arriving to our new home, just to leave it for strangers to use all of our things before we get a chance to? Needless to say, that didn’t happen. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. But let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.
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