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Theverbtotrust
2,075 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceFebruary 13, 2020
Recent forum posts
20+ years identifying as an addict, never "recovered"
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by Theverbtotrust
Last post
 April 19th, 2020
...See more Hi. I am an addict and an alcoholic. I have been to treatment several times and to countless therapies. I know the rooms of AA (and other A's) very well. I've worked the steps and found my HP. I don't want to use and for the most part, I don't. The alcoholic in me is cruel and violent. I am afraid of the person I become when I drink and I know that this particular drug (alcohol) will kill me. I'll take my own life or I'll harm people I love. I have shut the door on this particular substance. However, I am still snorting methamphetamines from time to time. Why? Because I am lonely and all alone. I'm the single mother of an 11 year old son who has ADHD and ODD. He is a challenging child and I am overwhelmed. I use for a few days out of every month and only when I "can afford it." I do not need treatment. I need a sober network. I'm ashamed at my behavior but also so deepy broken that I don't care. Thanks. I needed to say something to someone, anywhere. Be well!
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