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TheSweetNight
1,695 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts96 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceNovember 24, 2023
Bio

Hi, it's theSweetNight! I will accompany ya'll on my sweet nights... Or nightmares. And once theSweetNight reached theMidnight, theSweetNight will rest and will work on theSweetDay... Or theBadDay. Whether it's theSweetNight or theNightmare, I will try to be theNicePerson. 

I used to be here almost 3 years ago and I got here again. Cups is not really good now but I hope it will be better soon.

Recent forum posts
What do i do
Autism Support / by TheSweetNight
Last post
 March 27th
...See more I am a teen and many people (classmates and adults) including myself has suspected that I have autism. However my parents deny the possibility of me having autism cause they probably have a stereotypical view on autistic people. I don't think I can ever convince my parents to test me for autism.  Idk... I don't get it... My mom brushes this while thing off saying that I'm just ignorant and not paying enough attention... Also, the counsellor in my middle school says that she doesn't think that I'm autistic because of my grades and my school counsellor could not diagnose or test me anyway.  I am going to highschool soon so there might be something I can do? It's better to deal with this whole thing when I'm a teen then start to deal with this when I'm an adult. But I live in Indonesia where people are not really educated on disabilities and mental health in general.  I'm not really sure on what I can do about it. And if you wanna know what caught people's attention, it's probably my stimming behaviours (walking in circles, rocking back and forth or side to side, playing with anything I have on my hands), emotional dysregulation (crying all of a sudden at random times and cannot control it), social unawareness (Not knowing what im supposed to do, unaware of social norms, unaware of how I appear to other people, bad experiences with boys cause I'm unaware of their discomfort) I'm concerned about this
Back at Cups and my story
General Support / by TheSweetNight
Last post
 April 10th
...See more I used to have an old account here around 2 years ago and just left for like a year I guess. When I came back here it's so quiet and not as fun. I still remember the pikalution and the 💙💙💙 if you wanna know how long I have been here.  Tw: Bad friendship circles and self doubts The reason why I got here is because I used to deal with a condition where I feel like daydreams are better than reality (maladaptive daydreaming). In my case, it was caused by loneliness and I got tired of school. But now I'm not as bad as before. I can get a little more organized and a little more attentive...  I recently made a new bestie at school (thank God) and yea we relate, we understand each other. And the thing is, I'm not sure if I should feel concerned or just ignore them when I found out about the **** behind my back. Me: "But how did you and her knew about me back at 8th grade" Her: "So there was this circle of gossips and they were talking about you pacing back and forth (I guess when I wait for my mom to pick me up) and yk other stuff... They thought that you're autistic" The people who talk behind my back about it probably don't fully understand autism but I act odd... I have self doubts about it.  I mean, the thing is, I can pick up on basic social cues. However I feel the need to stim a lot like if theres nothing to do for a second, I'll lose focus and probably either pace back and forth or play with stuff. My mom also told me that I lack self awareness. Like "Look, this person is doing A, why don't you do B?" My mom thought I'm just ignorant but I feel different. Since I was little (elementary school) , my classmates think I'm weird since I don't initiate social interactions and I stim a lot. And when I wrote a letter to my school counsellor (cause I am good at writing but awkward at speaking), she was like "I dont think you're autistic, you have good grades and you dont seem to struggle in your studies" Bruh... I mean, I don't have to be autistic to have these traits but like... I'm so confused... Why do I feel the need to do these stuff? Why do I feel the need to stim? Why is it when I write the words cone out but when I speak it just got automatically held in by fear? Is it possible that I have some kind of neurodivergence? Also, not only classmates reported about this. Adults had also talked to my mom about this. The people at church reported about this. But my mom thinks I'm normal. I mean, other people might not be entirely correct but... This concerns me... And what do I do if I couldn't get tested cause my mom denies it? It's like no matter what I say, my mom is like "You're normal, you're just bla bla bla"
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