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ThePoetandthePen
1 1,538 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts258 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceOctober 10, 2024
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My mother Hates me
Autism Support / by ThePoetandthePen
Last post
 December 3rd
...See more Before my autistic diagnosis some years ago, I was always a girl who just thought she was quirky or nerdy or geeky and had some difficulties. After it...However, everyone around me changed. I had nothing to be sad about. I didn't understand the grief that people talk about with getting a diagnosis. What's there to be sad about? Im me. But... When I got my diagnosis i'll tell you what made me sad. My father told me he wished I hadn't had an autism diagnosis and my mother began to hate me. My mother grew mad at me. My mother was angry. I was depressed more by her sudden anger towards me than having a diagnosis. I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. She was making me fit into things I didn't want. So I snuck what I liked to college. Clothes, food, anything I wanted I just.... Honestly I stopped liking myself. I hated myself because of her and my dad. I just.... I didn't want get out of bed, I didn't want to live. And nothing has changed. The pandemic made me suffer more and they made me feel suffocated. Every day even now I feel stifled with their unkindness and their cruel words about my clothes and my habits, my likes and my friends and everything. Im old enough to be on my own but they won't even consider that. Life has me at its standstill. I feel alone in this. And saddened more than I can express. My mother hates me. My family doesn't understand. Im surrounded by ignorance every day and they make me wish I wasn't autistic. If I don't often talk about it its nevertheless because of them. 
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