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TallBunny830
2,034 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 31 Compassion hearts116 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceApril 2, 2023
Recent forum posts
I Just Want To Be Fixed
Trauma Support / by TallBunny830
Last post
 April 9th, 2023
...See more I wasn’t paying attention to myself. I never gave myself the time or love because I didn’t matter. Not when I was a kid growing up with abusive stepfathers and a mom who was never around because she had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet and now I’m not sure how to do that now as an adult because I’ve been like this for so long. I’ve held a ridiculous amount of extremely heavy secrets for so long and I don’t know if I’m fixable anymore. I was taught that we sweep this stuff under the rug. It’s ok to cry but make it quick because there’s work to get done and other people that need me or depend on me more than I need myself. Bills don’t pay themselves either so just go back to work and you’ll be over it soon. We’re supposed to be stronger than that and move on because the world stops for no one. It’s always just nothing to anyone and always get over it quickly and be grateful that it wasn’t worse but I feel like this stuff was BAD. From mental and physical and sexual abuse and major (self diagnosed) PTSD issues and addiction and depression and all kinds of trauma but someone’s always got it worse so don’t complain and I don’t want to COMPLAIN I just want to fix myself but I don’t even know where to start. There’s sooooo much that I never thought I was supposed to be affected by but in reality, it’s ruined my life and I never knew it until I got into this MVA Christmas Eve with my two kids and it could’ve been so much worse but I had literally 5 days to myself in complete silence in an upstairs apartment while my broken ankle healed without my babies or noise or human contact and it messed with my mind so bad. Can someone even be fixed at this point???
I never thought of it as an addiction
Addiction Support / by TallBunny830
Last post
 May 9th, 2023
...See more it Sounds bizarre to me to say that I have a sex addiction because I never thought being sexual as a secret was a bad thing but when I think about how much it’s affected my life… it’s amazing. Starting from a very young age. Ridiculously young age. I’ve realized that I have always given the attention that I long for to others for so long that I never have paid attention to my problems because I want to fix everyone else’s problems. This thought just came to me the other day and I can’t believe it took me this long. Why didn’t anyone teach me or tell me to pay attention to myself and how important it was?!?! Or did I just not hear them???
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