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TERATONCHRIS
3 2,921 M Hopeful Heart 7
Something is seriously wrong with me.
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts92 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceJune 18, 2024
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Some one save me please I'm drowning

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Any ideas for a title to this poem?
Poetry / by TERATONCHRIS
Last post
 Sunday
...See more So much space in what's unsaid.  Pour my heart into letter, hoping that it might get read.  So much hope but it feels like dread I wait all night, alone in bed.  Simple minds might feel ignored, might get even, keeping score.... But all I feel are tidal waves Inside my skull, against my brain. A violent current, sinking ships  All hope is lost, this storm won't wane. And on that night  The crew was brave, but all it took was one rogue wave. Beaten badly, the hull was battered Having hope no longer mattered. There SOS, lost in the weather Much like the hope.... Put in my letter. I needed help, so I shot my flare. No help came, no one was there. In the end we all were lost. When you sail on hope.... You pay the cost.
Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type and cptsd cocktail. Trigger warning.
Journals & Diaries / by TERATONCHRIS
Last post
 Monday
...See more As I lay on my bathroom floor, nearly 2 AM, Only minutes after an intense episode of emotional distress and pleading with myself to not slip and fall into the spiral I can see racing around me, threatening to o swallow me whole; bones and mg all,  Circling like a vulture does it's lunch. Roadkill. That's what I feel like post episode.  Its hard not to hate yourself when you've grown so tired of the same exact feelings of being alone, misunderstood, disregarded, not taken seriously by anyone. It's even harder to convince yourself that it's all in your heX when you beg someone for comfort in your moments of weakness and get rejected, by the person you love tho most.... Pain for me comes at a price. I can't function. I can't manage, deal, or cope. I can't rationalize. I can't be mindful. Everything is literally a "can't". And as I lay here ok the floor I wonder things like.... If I laid here does would anyone try to help me? Would anyone notice I'm missing? Will anyone miss me when I'm gone.... . 
Looking for my friend
Pen Pals / by TERATONCHRIS
Last post
 September 18th
...See more @slowdecline48 hey it's lovely message me 
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