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SyriusSystem
1 82,854 M Marching Ahead 1
it's all over (don't bother)
PathStep 20 Compassion hearts4,317 Forum posts141 Forum upvotes178 Current upvotes178 Age GroupTeen Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceFebruary 29, 2024
Bio

"don't look up too much, you'll get blind"- dylan

"It's crazy how crazy people think everyone else except them is crazy" - Shana

"life will never give you lemons, you have to plant the tree yourself"-lynnias

"People never realize how much they influence others around them" -unknown

"When you calm down, think about it" -lily

"Lose that smile, win back that freedom" -rin

"man, it sure do be like that sometimes" -kevin

"i wish i was a cloud" -loik

"Sometimes, letting go is not an option" - Scarlette

dylan 💛

lynnias 💙

Quotes from peeps in the system🙃


















help...








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bye bye everybody^^, it was a good journey on here (:






Recent forum posts
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if only
Journals & Diaries / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 February 5th
...See more if only things had been different, if only she smiled more, if only i had picked up the phone, if only i wasnt me, if only i was there, if only i wasnt here, if only if only if only im so tired of looking back at the past, im so tired of having to overthink every night, everytime.. if only.. here i am again, back at the same spot.. im writting nonsense at this point, my mind wont let me sleep here we go again... that should be my entry ive decided, on me, and all the stupid things i'll do, this is the thread that i'll keep on coming back to, to write whatever pops in my head no, you see, i'm the problem, i never let go of things no, you see, there's nothin i could do, we're done for either ways see, i wasn't even supposed to exist, yet i strived so hard no, i got so much left to lose, but what is it that's stopping me no, i'm only losing my mind, nothing more than i already lost i got, i have i had thought that... i was strong. what a joke see, i'm the problem blame me not you but me i had a friend, her name? let's call her penny, i'm an awfull friend, i even forgot my friends name, well, i can't help it, i forgot my fathers name too but once in a while, penny told me stories my favorite being, the story of the golden goose the golden goose was one of a kind, hated by the others for being different everytime she passed by, she got mocked, looked at weirdly or even called names she had no friends, she felt like she didn't belong so since she had no one who would miss her, she decided to leave her little village, she left nothing behind, she had nothing to leave and no one to miss on a long journey to find more like her, she stumbled upon a human town, there she met plenty of humans, greedy humans, disgusting humans, shameless humans that is where she learned real fear, real hate the humans locked her in a cage, she never got to spread her wings, they got cut off and sold in an auction house she never got the children she wanted, all her eggs were taken from her she never got to see her reflection, her eyes were taken from her blind, cold and alone, she cursed the humans, cursed those greedy beings cursed them to feel the same pain she felt, a never ending sadness as deep as the ocean emptiness as cold as the void humans, once those who lived without a care, those who got eaten by their desires, they soon felt the whip of fate, the karma, the shame then came depression, something the land had never seen the end. well. that's that -loik
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The path
Poetry / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 25th
...See more i sit as i stare directly towards the blue moon the clock ticks and ticks, saying it will all end soon wind blows through the windows, as cold as the snow outside, there're ghostly streets, basking in the winter glow a gentle hand touches my shoulder, it's time to go all my memories and nightmares, they leave, that, i know it won't be easy to let go, it never was it's cold, the window closes, the blinds go down no more beauty, the one the moon has this will be my new home, my new town maybe forever won't i see you, or never maybe peace shall reign when i leave but your eyes remain as cold as ever you always did as you please                  .                  . mother, i'm terrified those monsters, they make me petrified..                   .                   . foolish child, it's all in your head close your eyes and they'll all be dead                     . i can't close my eyes! i won't see.. the look on your face when i fall asleep said my eyes, those as deep as the sea you smiled and told me to count the sheep                       .                       . mother i'm scared! i'll be all alone everyone i knew, who cared, they'll all be gone..                        .                        . foolish child.. you've always been alone, from the beginning those dreams you have, they bear no meaning! your life is yours, and yours only it starts with you and ends with you, whether or not you're lonely                  ... i close my eyes, i see nothing but a tunnel of the end i am gone, forever, no family, no friend it starts and ends, with me and me only...
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breakdown...?
Journals & Diaries / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 15th
...See more hi.. it's me, loik and currently it's 10:19 pm, we're alone in the house, chloe and her husband (foster parents) had to go out for something.. i don't remember what- i feel so overwhelmed right now. it's like the world is spinning around in circles.. i'm losing my mind. first, this day was the most horrible day ever since the week started. i expect bad days like these but i do not know how to deal with them.. i can hear.. i can hear anny(a little) screaming.. at the back of my head, i think she's having a flashback... i hope someone helps her- but the screaming.. it's so painful to hear, and i'm feeling these emotions, i don't know if they're mine or hers. i have tears running down my face- we haven't eaten since we got back from the hospital, we haven't been taking care of ourselves, liah is gone, things feel impossible to do without her.. we should be sleeping right now, but i shouldn't sleep... i can't sleep, we need to take our medication but i don't know where they put it.. my mind is in so much panick right now, i feel like i'm triggering myself into something.. i can hear my heart beating.. and kevin s co-con with me, trying his best to help but it,s too loud and blurry and i don,t even know why... why i'm writting this.. no one can help, no one will- i need to sleep, we need to eat, we need our medication, we need help and i need to calm down and think straight... why does this always happen when i'm fronting.. why.. why why why why why why why and now its 10:30 pm.. i'm dizzy, can't hear anny anymore.. i have a splitting headache and still co-con with kevin... carers still not back and my head's going blank, i think i'm dissociating.. or i've just gone numb.. but it doesn't feel like it, if i was numb i wouldn't be feeling this pain.. i wish time would stop, i wish.. someone else would front.. i can't do this...
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"as for those who seek warmth, come, let's sit by the fire"
Poetry / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 6th
...See more I had a dream, you weren't in it I was running from myself, cause the ground had split The wind was strong, very much that it took away my breath It reminded me how much you loved, how you looked at me till your death Please, let me dream a little more Maybe in this chase, i'll find you, with that white dress you wore Take me with you! yelled my soul Forever yearning for you, how can fate be so foul My friend, my love, here i mourne, here i stand Forever yearning for peace, dear Clandestine, Please, understand
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For fizz
Journals & Diaries / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 23rd
...See more Hiya fizz, it's me Kevin. I made this forum cause yesterday I feel like I didn't leave things the right way? Idk but, I left so abruptly and u weren't ok The way I treated things, that's how I normally am, whenever stuff like that happens, I gotta be the one to push it over and act as if nothin had happened and it's my bad that all this happened Ik u said that I don't need to apologize but imma do it anyways cause u deserve an apology, that prolly brought up rlly bad memories for u I'm here for u man, if u got any questions, if u need an explanation, I'm here to answer Pls be honest, u don't need to act as if it's all ok cause I know it's not aight, 💙 @ZeroFizz Idk if the f in ur username is capital or not so imma put both just to be sure XD @Zerofizz
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call it love
Poetry / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 10th
...See more it snowed that day a grey cloud preyed on me, the wind was heavy, there i was planted between running and pleading it snowed that day when you smiled at me, said everything was alright, but why does my heart beat so fast, so fast as if almost bursting through my chest it snowed that day i looked into your eyes, you looked into mine, filled with a pool of tears waiting to overflow, my trembling voice couldn't reach you in time as you spoke, words of love that i can't recognize it snowed that day as i looked out the window, the beautiful flakes making the ground their own, as you said, how marvelous my face was, and held me by the throught it snowed that day pinned against a wall, i felt helpless, as if the coldness of your finger tips sucked the life out of me, finally a tear drops, your wicked amused smile tells me, heaven has abandonned me it snowed that day the pain was enough to numb out the sound of your voice, yelling, piercing in my ears, saying that you loved me, i once believed those words, i'm not too sure now it snowed that day when  i looked back on how i trusted you, when things went wrong, i have no clue, what i do know is, no one would ever believe me if i told them what you did as it snowed that day, i asked myself if this is what they call love, the love they wrote about in books was never like this, at least not as i imagined it. if this is love, i want no part in it call it love, call it monstrous
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circle of friends!
Journals & Diaries / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more hi there! its me again ^^(loik incase you forgot (: ) oo double smiley😙 alrighty! i've went on and decided that this is a small space for me, and the system and anyone who wants to join in the convo because life is too much sometimes, its good to have a laugh and cut yourself some slack! there will be multiple topics in this area in the future. debates if you may! alters from the system will engage in these debates and anyone who wishes to is permited to join :)  i decided to call it "circle of friends" cause i hope its like one of those round table things in the movies where people get to bring up different topics to talk about ( if ya catch the ref) First topic! (flight or fight!!) -you read it right(: in a stressful/uncomfortable situation, is it better to avoid/run/ hide/ ignore or face it/ fight/ bring it on!  remeber to be nice while debating everyone!^^
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hi, it's me (: (whoever that is)
Journals & Diaries / by SyriusSystem
Last post
 January 5th
...See more haa... here we go. i dont even know what to write, i wanted to write something but i dont know what to write. ok- here we go ever felt as if nothing was real? as if the world around you, the people, including you, were part of some sort of movie, a dream if you may. i feel  like that everyday, i plead and cry. pray that i wake up because.. this isnt a dream. far from that, this is a nightmare. running away became a hobby, if i dont remember, thats better. but if i dont remember who i am.. what would be next. whoever it is... his name was loik. a fun, bubbly little charmer. right? right! that guy who wouldnt stop smiling. thats him..right?...here we go again i had a dream.. it was beautiful, i was alone, i could see the sun rise in the horizon, and you were calling my name..._____! what was it again?...this has got to stop. so i decided to wake up.-- each time i drifted, a sharp pain, a little drop of red and i was back... questionable methodes? yes. does it work? yes. it hurts, but at least im awake. right?  ok, i know this is a little confusing but bear with me, ive never journaled before alright? hahaa, this is my first time^^, so what im trying to say is... heck i dont even know what im trying to say but, ya thats me! -loik  see you next time, when i get the hang on how to journal! ^^
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