I hate these things. I recently made it to 30. I was married for 5 years. Now divorced, I have a lot going on. I've always had bad anxiety, loneliness/abandonment issues, self confidence issues, constant need to succeed and not fail along with depression since my early teens. Pretty sure part of it is because I don’t see what other people see in me. Despite that mess, I’m really smart so I feel like I should know how to help myself. Lately with my personal life my anxiety is through the roof and I'm finding it difficult to talk to anyone including my therapist at times. That has made my inner demons worse. I’m also tired of being told “I deserve better” that is annoying since I think I know what I deserve. I want to feel whole again and that I'm worth being loved since I feel I’m not and I’m just a “place holder” for when something better comes along which is horrible to say about yourself. Yet that’s how I feel.