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My daughter (16) has a friend with diagnosed ADHD and has expressed her jealousy of her friend's accomodations in school.
My daughter makes good grades and is very driven, straight As, creative, and organized. She's never mentioned real ADHD concerns in the past, just that she wished she had it so she could get special treatment (in a wistful way once or twice when talking about said friend)
Today, however, she wouldn't get out of bed, cried about school and how she wants to get tested for ADHD because it would make school easier for her.
She asked if I could get her medication, like Adderall.
I told her that it wasn't that simple, and she insists he knew a place where you could get diagnosed right away, and even start getting medication right away. I am clueless as to how this sort of thing works so I asked her how she knows and she says her friend (a different friend than the first one mentioned, let's call her #2) knows all about it and that her friend's mom would tell me how to do it.
I have to go to work so I let her take a sick day and told her to rest while I do some research to figure it out. She finishes the conversation by saying if I really loved her I'd get her the test and medication and the school exemptions. I am completely flabbergasted.
At work I'm so frazzled I can't even concentrate so I excuse myself early to go home home and be with my daughter. I brought her hot chocolate, a scone and I make her soup and try to just be there for her.
I ask to help her do some homework and she reluctantly obliges, but doesn't attempt to write legibly even though the work seems mind numbingly easy. After a few minutes she collapses into anger again, demanding to get tested and to get Adderall.
Again I explain it's not that simple, and I will have to get her teachers and counselors involved to help us figure this out. She gets upset at me saying this, she just wants the diagnosis and prescription.
She's sobbing and screaming and I don't know what to do but to hug her and let her lean on me. She calms down, my husband comes home, and him and I go out to do errands.
She has gymnastics practice in the evening so I call her #2 friend's mom during that time and her friend's mom tells me that the friend has gone through extensive therapy and psychiatric appointments and that after 8 years they've decided on ADHD diagnosis and they are stepping through the many hoops to get medication that the child does NOT want to take and the mother frankly admitted to me that she doesn't want to give, but that this friends behaviors so difficult to manage they've come to this as a last resort.
My husband who is much more logical, scientific and level headed than I am, had a discussion on the drive to gymnastics with my daughter about adderall and it's effects and suffer effects, ADHD struggles and symptoms, how it's normal to lack motivation and focus sometimes, and he says their conversation was engaging. She was responding and asking questions though she did seem a bit cranky.
She came home, we went for a walk, she got herself ready for bed with her usual neat and tidy routine, I tucked her in, gave her a kiss and hug goodnight and she was asleep by 11.
The sites she sent me that are "so easy to get diagnosed and meds"? They are for 18+. Her friend is also a child and must not understand the severity of this situation or diagnosis.
Honestly... I'm just freaked out. I want to know, what does a kid with ADHD look like?
How do I discourage/explain to a a kid that drugs seem like a solve-all but truly are not?
I am very worried about Adderall abuse whether or not she ends up getting her own prescription one way or another.
Thanks for reading.
-Worried mom
