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SoulSun808
1 6,135 M Moving Along 2
PathStep 15 Compassion hearts414 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes69 Current upvotes69 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJune 13, 2023
Bio

Hmm... I am much more I can imagine and nothing at all.


Recent forum posts
What should I do?
Anxiety Support / by SoulSun808
Last post
 May 5th
...See more Im not okay. I really am not... I was trying and I thought I was over it but everything came back to me and I'm Note okay.. 
The big question of my life
Anxiety Support / by SoulSun808
Last post
 June 14th
...See more Hey, everyone, how are u doing? I hope better than me, because I have to say, that I'm not really fine. Im asking myself one question and I know that it's one, that we all know, but it stuck with me for so long, that it really influences me. It's constantly in my mind and I can't stop thinking about the future. It's scary and I don't know if anyone cares, cause my family doesn't, so maybe this is nonsense, but I'll just use it as a place to order my thoughts. Maybe it will help. What is this life for? That's a big, big question and still it's there all the time. Is it about laying in bed, being depressed and not knowing what to do? Or destroying relationships, being selfish and hating everyone, because they have different opinions? Or idk, what is it all about? Why can't i be myself? Why is everyone so fake all the time? And how did I become one of them? There are at least 10 different versions of me. I don't know whos real and who isn't. Me with my family: kinda normal and trying to do my best all the time. Trying to act as normal as I can, so they don't think I'm weird. Also hiding things of them, because I know they have pretty much expectations and rules how to live. With my friends (the most of them): hiding my biggest secret, trying to make them accept me, so never showing my true self without hiding TOO much.But also enjoying life al little more than alone, ***. They make me come out of the house and that helps sometimes. Then me in the public: shy, introvert and nothing like myself, even when I'm alone. Just pretending to be one of them, normal, so they dont look and think I'm weird without getting to know me. I want to change things, help people but im too insecure to do it, so I'll stay in the background and regret it later. And i guess, then there's me alone: Crazy, trying new things, being loud and funny, and silent and thinking about life and all these things. Also worrying if I did okay at this day. Did I do sth weird in public? Did I made the best with this day? Was I productive enough? And if I didn't, is it going to change tomorrow? There are probably some more versions of myself: The indepentend one, the one, that just want to hide in my room and the one, that just wants to leave all this behind and be my true self. But I'm still looking and I don't know if I'll ever find it. So this is my journey and I hope it ends soon with achieving my goal. Everyone can reach their goals, I know that. So I hope you too. 😘
Confusion, social anxiety and myself
Friendship Support / by SoulSun808
Last post
 September 19th, 2023
...See more I don't know exactly what's going on with me recently. I don't know if it's depression, social anxiety or anything else. Currently I don't think one of my freinds is really a good friend and honestly I don't know if I want to keep friends. But I could never tell this to the person. It's also difficult at school right now, I've just returned from vacation and I think my anxiety has increased during this time. I'm overwhelmed with this and I know that I can't get out of this alone, but my social anxiety is stopping me. I feel like I'm many versions of myself and it's hard to somehow coordinate everything. I'm so often overwhelmed by myself, but I actually know, at least a little, what I don't want. But I also know that this can never happen because of the fact that I don't have the courage to do anything about it. But I can't keep this up much longer... So how can I go on???
Summer trip
Self-Harm Recovery / by SoulSun808
Last post
 July 27th, 2023
...See more Almost one year ago, I got to know that we're going on a trip and now it's time, tomorrow we're gonna go. I sh for more than 2 years now and I hate that this trip need to be placed in the summer. I'm not used to be away from home and the possibility to sh. I did it almost regularly but I try to bring nothing with me to hurt myself. It's going to be hard I know. I'm scared and I don't know how to get through this and let it be a normal trip. I just wished there were someone who stopped me when I sh the first time, it became an addiction.
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