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Sophie2864GV
741 M Little Steps
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceMay 4, 2015
Recent forum posts
I suck at breakups
Relationship Stress / by Sophie2864GV
Last post
 May 10th, 2015
...See more I used to be this happy nice girl, always smiling through life and then I decided to fall in love with a stupid guy who only took advantage of me, and then decided to cheat on me with mu best friend. Of course I sent them both to hell but I was really hurt. After that I lost my way and started drinking and making a lot of bad choices and here is were I met a guy who turned my whole world upside down, he became my best friend and my worst enemy. I fell head over heals for him, we skipped school, teached me how to smoke, tried drugs, I almost ran away with him. So when I finally decided to tell him that I loved him and I wanted a reall relationship with him he completely turned me down...claiming that I was his best friend and that a relationship might ruin that. So we stayed friends...well, more like friends with rights. A week after this he asked some random girl he met at a party just a week before to be his girlfriend, naturally I broke down. Why wouldn't he want me ? I lost touch with him for a while, I wasn't strong enough to see him with some of other girl and smile...a few months later he called me and wanted to see me. In the time we were apart I began to see what a twisted and screwed up relationship we had....so I agreed to meet with him, just to give it some closure. Of course he said he loved me, that he had been so stupid and that I didn't deserve what he did to me. And I fell for it, because i loved him so much...but still he didn't break up with her girlfriend. A month later he told me he was moving to China (yes the damn country halfway around the world) so i couldn't take it anymore...he said hed come back for me, of course I bet he said the same thing to his gf and other stupid women begging for him I suppose. And the next thing I knew he was gone, and I was left here with nothing but a broken heart. What was the probability of him moving to China before having something real with me ? Ive been lost ever since, maybe its because I feel I don't deserve anything, I feel like I should just become a nun. Why wouldn't he love me the way I loved him ? Is really any other girl better, prettier or smarter than me? Ive been lost ever since he left, ive been drinking like crazy, drugs are my thing and meaningless sex is everything I do Its been a year since he left and I don't think I'm ever gonna feel this way about anyone ever again...but im so tired of being a sex toy for guys I don't even know, is it really so hard to love me? Or to look at me like a real person?
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