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SneakyMouse13
259 M Embraced 2
PathStep 29 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceSeptember 16, 2021
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stressed
Trauma Support / by SneakyMouse13
Last post
 September 18th, 2021
...See more i've been dealing with a mix of all my trauma and trying so hard to not shut down. i've finally found the legs to admit fully with no doubt i was groomed by a woman i used to trust and finally was able to cut her out my life after years of keeping face for others. ive been bothered since this is the second time i was groomed by someone. it's a nice feeling to be freshly 20 and finally, feel from her. i've been dealing with the idea that people gain obsessions with me and want me all to themself to use and abuse because i fight back so little to keep friends and feel stable for once in my life. i'm so scared of disappointing people and being a letdown. i just feel like a toy and joke to everyone, something to use to get their itches scratched the struggle of keeping friends came from [probably] my mother who also abused me and my father throughout my childhood and cheated on him. they are divorced and ive not seen her in 6+ years while minimally talking to her. she kept me from seeing or making friends and paraded me around as something special yet was jealous when my father bought me barbies, hot wheels, carebears, bratz, when she got a computer which any person would've died for in the mid-late 2000's. its. hard to feel like this so much. it makes it hard to stay present in interpersonal friendships with new people as im scared they will just use me as a tool and means to get their own way and i can't just have no friends, i need social stimulation like any person. i do apologize if this came off as a dump and was overstimulating. im still very unsure of what exactly is wrong with me and im worried this is the wrong place to post
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