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ShyPine235
6 140 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupTeen Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceNovember 11, 2024
Bio
  • I'm a teen (17) overcoming trauma, depression and anxiety
  • I'm non-binary and prefer they/them, but am also fine with other pronouns
  • I'm diagnosed with autism
  • I love writing (stories and poems) and painting
  • I'm big fan of Good Omens, X-Men, Sabaton, frogs, geology/rocks and biology

Recent forum posts
Reasons to stay clean & Skills/Coping tips
Self-Harm Recovery / by ShyPine235
Last post
November 13th
...See more I thought I’d share my collection of skills and reasons to stay clean, hopefully this will help some of you. I'm still very new to this site, but part of the reason I'm here is to hopefully share helpful things. Not all of the reasons or skills will work for you, I'm actually also listing some that don't do it for me, so just pick those that resonate with you. Which these are will probably change over time and that's totally okay, too. Also, it's great to find your own reasons, but I know it often seems like there aren't any. Reasons to stay clean: * to feel proud instead if guilty * so you can shower without burning pain * to break your record/last streak * so you can stop lying about having quit * so you don't have to explain yourself as much * to prove yourself how strong you are * maybe because of your religion if you have one * because the people important to you don't deserve to self harm, neither do you because you're important to someone too * to go swimming again * you have more fun when you, don't have to hide fresh wounds * no fear of going too deep/having to go to ER and being judged (which sadly can happen) * to keep your promises * remember: relapsing isn't weakness as long as you try again <3 * to wear short clothing again * if you damage your nerves, you might have a hard time doing what you love * self harm feels good for minutes and bad for months, it doesn't solve you problems but just creates more pain * some pets can pick up human emotions and you don't want yours to feel you're in pain * to be able to use certain objects for their intended purpose again without getting urges * you don't need (more) scars * wounds can get infected * to show others that recovery is possible * to gain hope again Substitution: (what to do instead) Please be careful, as some of these might make it worse for you! Some things can also progress into self-harm if you overdo them. * draw fake wounds on your skin (be careful you’re not allergic to your marker/etc., also might trigger you even more) * rip apart paper (maybe paint the edges red) * get these spiky massage balls, but made from metal  * smell essential oil * when it gets really bad maybe ammonia * put bandaids or tape on your skin and carefully rip/take it off again * website: fatal to the flesh * put bandages/bandaids on like you self harmed, but you actually didn’t * eat spicy food * cut your hair because that doesn’t hurt you * snap a rubber band/elastic on your wrist * do some sports * kill some weeds in the garden/outside * put ice cubes on your skin * cut or scratch wood instead of yourself * take a cold shower * cut paper/cardboard * punch a pillow Distraction: * promise yourself to wait for 30min (or any other time that is doable but still hard) * cuddle your pet/s * watch clouds move * do breathing exercises (or don’t, I start panicking) * dance * cook or bake something nice * do a Duolingo lesson * style your hair * solve a Rubik’s cube * do yoga * go on a walk * clean your room * put on nail polish (makes you feel pretty and helps to keep your hand occupied) * watch a funny video to cheer yourself up * watch a movie * listen to music * put on make-up * hug someone * read * draw something * play a game/video game * write a short story * write poetry Dealing with your emotions: * find out why you have urges and try to remove the reason * look back on good moments (make a list) * look at things you can control (make a list) * look at things you’re grateful for (make a list) * write down your feelings/journal * talk to somebody * positive affirmations * paint your feelings * smile * read a letter to yourself (write one when you are feeling better!)
I don't feel valid, even after 2+ years clean
Self-Harm Recovery / by ShyPine235
Last post
November 12th
...See more Hi, first of all, this is my very first post and I hope I'm not doing anything wrong. Also, I'm not a native English speaker, so please excuse any weird punctuation or grammar. I'm currently clean from SH since over 800 days (which I am proud of), but even after so long I keep getting thoughts like "It never was valid" and "I have to relapse to deserve recovery". I made a lot of progress in recovery, but whenever I'm reminded that other people had to go to a hospital, have scars or used actual blades I feel like I'm not valid. I did SH for a long time and started quite early, but it was never dangerous or anything (Idk if details could be triggering or are even allowed). I also never really did it daily, so it feels strange that I’m not over it by now. It's not like I'm just clean, I did tons of work on me and my past, have a great therapist and ways to cope, but these thoughts and feelings just won't leave. I can’t seem to be able to move on. I feel like I have to prove myself that it was bad enough and I deserve to get better, and I don’t know how to deal with that or if anyone else still struggles like this after so much time.
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