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ShatteredMentality
260,051 M Seeking Peace 5
PathStep 311 Compassion hearts15,270 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes48 Current upvotes48 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceMarch 14, 2016
Bio

Autistic, alone, hurt, misunderstood, and overwhelmed

Recent forum posts
Haunted
Trauma Support / by ShatteredMentality
Last post
 July 14th, 2021
...See more The memories flashed before her eyes The many dark secrets hidden beneath the lies Her thoughts were chaotic, all over the place But not even a hint of it would show on her face These thoughts and memories coming from deep inside The ones she tried so hard to hide As the memories flood in, it fills her with pain Not wanting to live through these memories again She fights it hard until no one is about Giving in as all the tears rush out Completely overwhelmed she collapses on the floor Unable to hold it back anymore Feeling scared and ill she begins to shake How many more sleepless nights can she take It is in this silent hell in which she is taunted By the memories of her past she will forever be haunted Charlie
What is wrong with Charlie
Trauma Support / by ShatteredMentality
Last post
 July 4th, 2016
...See more what is so wrong with charlie that it has been ok for her family to treat her as they do, yes charlie is broken and doesn't work the way she should but maybe things could have been better if they noticed that sooner, if they cared instead of neglected, hurt, and abused, maybe she would have been less broken with some support. why is it ok for charlie to be hurt and treated like she is, even when she was little, to be degraded and treated as nothing and worthless, to be abused and hurt for even thinking something out of line or doesn't do what she is told or if she ever does/shows anything but what is expected. why is it ok for others to treat charlie similar to how her family does, is charlie really that insignificant and terrible. why is any of this ok? why is nowhere safe from this? it hurts so much and charlie is tired of hiding everything, all the things that have happened, all of what people have done to her, all of how she feels, everything that haunts her, all hidden inside painfully fighting to be heard by her. have no idea how to really ever say anything about any of it though cause how do you change so many years of trying so damn hard every moment to push things inside and hide it to survive, and so damn insecure about every tiny thing that any time do try end up flipping out panicked and vulnerable and get so scared people will say hurtful things or leave or whatever. so scared of losing control of that, of hiding things, and have been slipping up more and more lately as charlie feels she is falling apart and it is just getting her in trouble. don't know what to do anymore, everything hurts and feels like too much, even when charlie is disconnected and feeling empty. sorry
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