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Shano
18,131 M Progress Road 6
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts313 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceAugust 2, 2014
Recent forum posts
Read this if you're a Listener
Newbie Hub / by Shano
Last post
 January 5th, 2020
...See more I don't intend to write a novel. I just wish to deliver a few very important messages to the listeners and the founder of 7cups. I've been a member of 7cups since 2014. I still have no idea how I would have coped during those days of my life if 7cups weren't there. Then I decided to give it back to the community by becoming a listener myself. Back then, 7cups was less commercial and more about bringing quality support. Over the years, the quality of listeners and support has become incredibly pathetic. This is concerning since a lot of people come here to receive support and end up feeling worse because of the attitude and behavior of these so called 'listeners'. It doesn't seem like they really want to support people or are even capable of doing that. Most of them use it as a platform to chat and kill their free time. The problem with these 'listeners' is that whenever someone with really serious issues come out to vent, they flee. Some of them leave the chat without saying anything while the others just reply as if they were doing a favour by just sticking around. What these people don't understand is that the venters are already hurt and vulnerable already and an attitude like that makes them regret reaching out to 7cups in the first place. These days, most listeners disappear just after greeting the ventors. Then there are people who are not really 'listeners' but 'advisors'. What they forget is the rule of not advising anything to the member. It's not a part of active listening. The problem is that there are lessons on active listening but it's really easy to skip the chapters and complete the course. Then, it's not mandatory to get verified by an experienced listener. There is no way for 7 cups to make sure whether these folks are really capable of supporting and listening actively. I faced a situation where I was blocked by the listener because my problems were 'too serious' and there was no scope for the him to 'just hang around'. Instead of refering me to someone else and leaving the conversation politely, they just 'shut the door' on my face when I was at my lowest and had nobody in real life to talk to. I felt insulted and regretted looking for support in the first place. Listening to people in trouble is serious business and I don't think it's very wise to compromise on the quality of support to promote the 'hire a therapist' service on the site. I had come across some really great listeners years back. They're gifted and I'll forever be grateful to them. Some of them are still active in the community while others are not. I regret to say that 7cups has lost its vision and it is really disheartening that with the new generation of listeners, it's no more the platform where people in need of support can feel any better.
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