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Seff1227
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PathStep 12 Compassion hearts94 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceFebruary 4, 2021
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Is early exposure to NSFW content trauma?
Trauma Support / by Seff1227
Last post
 January 31st
...See more TW // pornography NSFW (if this is a necessary tw just in case) I was exposed to sexual content extremely early, dating back to elementary. It was an accident, back when the internet wasn't as regulated. As ridiculous as it is, it was first on Amazon when I wanted to look up japanese animation things because I liked that, and the first results were adult content dvds. I was like 7 or something at the time, and my parents didn't know I found that, and young me didn't understand what I saw and just found it funny. I never had a bad response to it and didn't understand that this wasn't something I was supposed to see. I got curious and looked the words up on the internet at that same age, still not understanding whatever this all was. Barely a few years later, I got my first smartphone at the end of elementary before I started coming back home on my own. My parents didn't put any restrictions and one random day I remembered that thing and looked it up on my phone. I think starting there it just stayed in my mind up to now. Once again, I never had a viscious negative reaction to all that so I never thought of it as a trauma, although now as a grown adult I am actually on the verge of porn addiction and suspected hypersexuality. But I once talked to a therapist about that and she said that it was a trauma. This is just curiosity because i've never heard of a trauma where it didn't give me a negative reaction at the time
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How do I believe others
Depression Support / by Seff1227
Last post
 February 6th, 2021
...See more I have trouble believing compliments from people, and whenever i’d see a stranger or someone i barely know tell me "you’re doing amazing" or "we love you" i just can’t believe it, i mean how would they even know if i’m doing good? If i’m doing my best? How can you love me if we don’t even know each other? Even the cups don’t really help. Telling myself i’m doing my best isn’t helping at all. They’re all empty words for me. How can I believe them?
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I hate myself
Depression Support / by Seff1227
Last post
 February 6th
...See more I have an inferiority complex. My self esteem is so low i just can’t believe any compliment, i can’t look at someone and not feel jealous if they have something that i don’t but wished i had, i can’t easily get over feeling inferior to someone. I feel really toxic and it’s been about a week or two since i realized why i was so salty over a lot of things. I have nothing and yet i know i have more than a lot of ppl out there so i shouldn’t be complaining, and yet my stupid egoist mind can’t help but just make me feel down The only person i trust is my gf, she’s the only one who can make me feel positive and i came to the point i know i wouldn’t have any will to live if she ever left me I hate being so egoist, i hate my body, i hate being different, having a different sexual orientation than most of my friends, i hate absolutely everything about me and wished i could torture myself in any way just to feel punished for being a piece of trash But i know i would never do that and i still have a hope...a hope that maybe i can slowly love myself more I don’t want to tell my parents about anything so i can’t afford actual therapy How can i love myself?
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