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SapphicLoser69
1 322 M Embraced 3
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupTeen Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceApril 8, 2023
Bio

give up on any hope of me being a decent person

Recent forum posts
aromantic stuck in an unhaply relationship
General Support / by SapphicLoser69
Last post
 9 hours ago
...See more this is a repost from the LGBTQ forum cause I'm just desperate asf for any sort of advice I can get so basically, my whole kaboodle is: -I'm aromantic and allosexual -I am firmly againt the idea of personally being in a monogamous relationship -I have a partner who just can't for the life of them accept this I love them. I really do. I wouldn't put up with this *** for a second if I didn't. I believe if platonic soulmates were a thing, then they'd be it. however, it seems that 'platonic soulmates' just isn't going to suffice for them. they want me romantically. they want me to themself. and I made it perfectly clear to them several times that neither of those are okay with me. I told them I'd be perfectly okay with being friends with benefits, that I still loved them, *** I even tried to negoitate queerplatonicism. guess what? still not *** happening. they just. claimed me. I am their girlfriend now, whether I like it or not. they're obsessed with me. they're obsessed with the idea of mutual obsession. they're obsessed with an ideal of me I feel, an ideal I can never live up to. they're obsessed with the idea of this very mutual romantic devotion, which I can just never give. I know this is a horrible foundation for a relationship. A- everytime I mention I want to break up, it always goes something like "well I'm sorry you feel that way and I want to be a better partner for you, I hope one day you'll feel the same and our love will grow stronger uwu" and B- they're like,, weirdly completely non-abusive beyond this? like, other than the whole 'forced romance' thing, they very much respect any other boundary. they respect consent, my feelings, they're always non-judgemental, and I feel for this I just don't want to leave. I still really really really want them as a friend, and if this is what it takes to keep them, then it's just kind of a sacrifice I'm willing to make. because there's no way out, I'm willing to play the part. and I feel like such a horrible piece of *** for it. that I pretend to want them back just to keep them in my life. that I've built such resentment behind the surface. I wish they knew what monogamy means to me. like, I very much respect it and see the appeal. but for me, it's ownership. it's a complete loss of freedom. they don't even have to let me go at this rate. I've played the part this long, I'll survive more. I just wish they aknowledged the sacrifices I make to keep being friends. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do at this rate. there's no breaking up with them. I can't lose them. but the more I'm with them, the more I feel it eat away at my happiness.
aroallo non-monogamist trapped in an unhappy relationship
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by SapphicLoser69
Last post
 9 hours ago
...See more sup, haven't touched this app in a longggggg time. so basically, my whole kaboodle is: -I'm aromantic and allosexual -I am firmly againt the idea of personally being in a monogamous relationship -I have a partner who just can't for the life of them accept this I love them. I really do. I wouldn't put up with this *** for a second if I didn't. I believe if platonic soulmates were a thing, then they'd be it. however, it seems that 'platonic soulmates' just isn't going to suffice for them. they want me romantically. they want me to themself. and I made it perfectly clear to them several times that neither of those are okay with me. I told them I'd be perfectly okay with being friends with benefits, that I still loved them, *** I even tried to negoitate queerplatonicism. guess what? still not *** happening. they just. claimed me. I am their girlfriend now, whether I like it or not. they're obsessed with me. they're obsessed with the idea of mutual obsession. they're obsessed with an ideal of me I feel, an ideal I can never live up to. they're obsessed with the idea of this very mutual romantic devotion, which I can just never give. I know this is a horrible foundation for a relationship. A- everytime I mention I want to break up, it always goes something like "well I'm sorry you feel that way and I want to be a better partner for you, I hope one day you'll feel the same and our love will grow stronger uwu" and B- they're like,, weirdly completely non-abusive beyond this? like, other than the whole 'forced romance' thing, they very much respect any other boundary. they respect consent, my feelings, they're always non-judgemental, and I feel for this I just don't want to leave. I still really really really want them as a friend, and if this is what it takes to keep them, then it's just kind of a sacrifice I'm willing to make. because there's no way out, I'm willing to play the part. and I feel like such a horrible piece of *** for it. that I pretend to want them back just to keep them in my life. that I've built such resentment behind the surface. I wish they knew what monogamy means to me. like, I very much respect it and see the appeal. but for me, it's ownership. it's a complete loss of freedom. they don't even have to let me go at this rate. I've played the part this long, I'll survive more. I just wish they aknowledged the sacrifices I make to keep being friends. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do at this rate. there's no breaking up with them. I can't lose them. but the more I'm with them, the more I feel it eat away at my happiness.
Vent: I'm Beyond Gross [TW heavy sex mentions]
Depression Support / by SapphicLoser69
Last post
 April 12th, 2023
...See more I'm hypersexual. I'm hypersexual and self-loathing for it. I feel beyond gross for being hypersexual. Not because I dare have impure thoughts before I reach the magical age of 18 where I can finally stop being dehumanized, but because those impure thoughts consume and control me. Almost all I think about on a day to day basis revolves around sex. Many of the fantasies aren't even arousing or exciting anymore. It's controlled my life and warped me into a gross, perverted shell of the girl I used to be. I can't form new friendships without the underlying hope that it goes a little further, but not too far as I have to commit. God knows I can't make friends anyways considering what a social shut-in I am. I'm almost furious I'm still a virgin considering my attempts at making myself attractive to my classmates. Most people don't even have much deeper value to me than how attractive they are and what they can bring to my still empty bed. I've become a disgusting pervert and part of me wants to just lobotomise or spay myself to make it stop. I wish I could go back in time and spay my younger self just for a shot at a normal life.
Hi
Newbie Hub / by SapphicLoser69
Last post
 April 9th, 2023
...See more I'm SapphicLoser69 and I'm a 16 year old bi girl with hypersexuality, doormat, and social reject and shut-in issues looking to get fixed
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