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SadMaddi
259 M Embraced 2
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceAugust 23, 2023
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What can I do?…
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by SadMaddi
Last post
 August 25th, 2023
...See more I don’t know if I’m in the right place or not…but here goes…. My husband and I have been together for about five years. We have a beautiful two year old daughter together, a home we worked so hard for, careers in the healthcare field, almost a picture perfect life. He has struggled with an addictive personality in the past and has overcame alcohol and substance abuse and God I am so fiercely proud of him for it. He did it on his own! To me, a person who works in addiction recovery, that is incredible. Recently he was (finally) diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and depression. He showed signs of adult ADHD and major, major anxiety and body dysmorphia. He was taking several psychotropic meds and phentermine for weight loss. He’s also using Delta 8 (flower) and Kratom. (This is important) The last week, he has shown signs of developing psychosis. I saw the symptoms right away and questioned when the last time he refilled his meds were. He hasn’t in about 2-3 weeks. He stopped cold turkey, he stopped everything because he didn’t feel like taking them anymore. Back track about 4 days prior and he had tested positive for benzos (he isn’t prescribed any) from what is suspected to be laced Delta from a scummy “dispensary”. He was very, very upset about it as he had been doing so well staying away from the substance abuse. The last three days have been ***. Pure ***. He doesn’t recognize me as his wife anymore. He’s convinced I’ve plotted against him to make him look bad to everyone in town. He’s convinced I’m speaking badly about him to all of my patients and coworkers. He’s convinced I’m suicidal (I’m not) and called his mom in the middle of the night to come get our daughter from me for no actual reason. His mother made the problem so, so much worse. She has no sense of how to handle things and is always “right”. She would argue and scream the paint off a brick wall. Tonight, I’m sitting at the magistrate’s office with a CPS worker at 3AM. He became violent. I had my daughter in my arms. He didn’t recognize me at all, he kept calling me by a completely different name. Had the police convinced that I wasn’t who I was and I was this other name (until I showed my work badge and my state ID). CPS is taking our daughter for the night for her safety and I have to file a domestic violence protective order. My heart has been ripped from my chest. I love this man. I don’t know why he chose to stop his meds suddenly. I did everything I could do and it’s hit me so hard. He’s going to lose his EMT card now because of me and my inability to help him. The grief is overwhelming, I’ve lost my husband. When he comes back to, it’ll be too late and the damage will be done. He won’t go to the hospital because he can answer the questions correctly and being an EMT, knows just what to say to his coworkers so he doesn’t have to go. Should I give up and run to keep myself and my daughter safe? Or should I try harder? A mental hygiene maybe? I’ve already ruined his career with the DVP…..but God I love this man and I am so scared for him.
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