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SLP2Be
1,110 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts54 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2019 Member sinceMarch 9, 2019
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Do I give him another chance
Relationship Stress / by SLP2Be
Last post
 March 24th, 2019
...See more I've been married for 25 years to my husband. We got married when I was 20 and he was 23, so very young. He is a musician and has sang in bands since we were dating, so this has been a part of his life for a long time. We have 3 children. When my boys were 2 and 6 I found out he cheated on me. The girl actually called me and told me. He denied everything, but I knew he did. I thought it was a one and done type of deal. We went on and had another child together and life seemed to be going great. We have 3 great kids all doing well in life. 2 boys in college and our daughter in high school. We get along well, rarely ever argue. 7.5 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and we were terrified, we weren't sure if I would survive, but I did and am now considered cured. All during my surgery and chemo I still kept plugging along with college. I made the choice to get a great degree so that home finances would feel even and not like he had to be the breadwinner and pay for everything. I'm in graduate school now and it's incredibly hard at my age! But I talked it through with him first, are you ok with me borrowing the money, are you up to helping more around the house and most of all, the time committment. I have a 2 hour train ride to the University 3 days a week and am required to put in 10-12 hours a day of studying 7 days a week. It's a hard field and this is required. He said yes he's 100% on board. Now 5 months into grad school I find out he cheated on me with some bar chick that's a regular at his band's shows. I'm heartbroken. He finally came clean and admitted it had been going on for 2 months. The lies he told to go see her infuriate me. He also admitted he did cheat years ago when I confronted him and said that one lasted 9 months. He first blamed it on my spending too much time on school work and not enough time devoting to him/sex. I admit this is true I do spend a lot of time on school. My degree costs over $100,000, if I fail out we need to pay that back and I won't have a job where I could afford to. He has voluntarily quit both bands he was in and swears he is devoted to me and our family. But this isn't a 2nd chance, now it's a 3rd chance. I am so up and down every day, and can't concentrate on school. I'm doing horribly right now. I still love him but it's different now, I just don't love him the same. Counseling said that will come back with time, but I don't think it will. Is this too many chances? I feel so humilitated I don't know what to do.
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