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SHmau
1 878 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 74 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupTeen Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 15, 2024
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Idk if this is a trauma response? TW sensitive content
Trauma Support / by SHmau
Last post
 October 27th
...See more Regarding to my previous post. After the SA happened my 5 year old mind went curious as to why my cousin wants to see my private part, what's so good about it? Does everyone thinks my private part is interesting? I saw videos of naked people doing it. The first time I saw it is when the SA happened. So, as the time passed by I found pleasure of playing with myself vut as I got older I feel disgusted about myself. I feel aroused when I'm thinking about the SA. I became hypersexual. I hate it. I don't know what to do. I feel so disgusted. However, when I think about a man doing it with me I feel nauseous but when I'm only doing it with myself I feel pleasure. Idk this is so embarrassing. I just don't know what to do. Is this hormones? Idk. Maybe ovulation? So many possibilities but why am I aroused when I'm thinking about my own SA. Additionally, whenever I see my body I feel aroused as I can feel my cousins touch still. I hate it.
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Idk if its anxiety
Anxiety Support / by SHmau
Last post
 October 28th
...See more Everytime I have quizes my mind will think that no matter what I do I'm going to fail then afterwards my head will hurt probably migraine then my heart starts to race as my stomach feels funny and I feel nauseous
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Is it my fault? TW SA
Trauma Support / by SHmau
Last post
 October 26th
...See more *TW SA* When I was 5 I never wear underware and just shorts and tshirts. One day I went to my cousins house to play with his sister but she is not there.... I found him *** and watching p0rn. I asked him to pkay with and he let me in, inside the house, he let me sat on the same couch as him. He takes out his phone and asked me "Can I take a picture of your ***?" as a child when a grown up ask me to do something I would do it. He layed me down as my legs faced him he took off my shorts and spread my legs. He then touch me there to spread my opening and took a picture of it. I remembered he played with it a bit. He then stand up and went to the restroom with his phone. When he get back he let me go home. I was too young to comprehend it so when I got older at 9th grade I was heavily disgusted with myself. I was never the same as before. I was confused i gave him permission? Was it my fault? I don't know what to do.
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I can't take it anymore
Depression Support / by SHmau
Last post
 October 13th
...See more I don't know what to do anymore...
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It's getting worst again
Depression Support / by SHmau
Last post
 September 17th
...See more I don't know but it's getting worse again I though I've already solved this I thought I was healed from IT. I THOUGHT I WAS SANE FOR ONCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE but turns out I was just distracted and been gaslighting myself. I'm such a bad person.
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