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SCWlostintranslation
866 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts117 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceAugust 18, 2020
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Why can't I just say NO?
35 & Over Community / by SCWlostintranslation
Last post
 December 25th, 2020
...See more My entire life I have been the steady, constant caregiver.. I raised my siblings, ran the house hold and effectively raised my father after his divorce(s). When family/friends fall ill I am the one who comes to the rescue.. money issues? Call Scw! Marriage issues? Call SCW! Need a hand to move? can't get to the store? your boss was ajerk and you just need to cry it out over a drink? Call SCW!! I put myself through nursing school, raised 3 kids and I truely love my friends, family and co workers. I have a husband who I love and I am certain he thinks he loves me.. and maybe he does but he does not value me or care about me. I have zero space and zero time to be ME. I work all day, come home and clean/cook/clean, run errands for my family and others, whittle away at the mountain of work I've brought home and maybe sleep. no one checks on me, no one asks if I need anything. I'm not allowed to be sick, tired or fed up.. its so exausting. Yesterday, after feilding a half dozen calls to various family members to update on my uncles failing health and finalize travel plans to rush home (600 miles away) and help them help themselves I tried to explain to my husband and kids how tired and exausted I am, how all I want is a day to be invisible. They of course smiled and hugged me then asked what was for dinner..teenagers! But that can't be normal..not healthy to wish and hope and BEG for solitude, for there to be nothing and no one in my way.. I spend alot of my days dreaming of jumping in my car, flipping a coin and driving until the tank runs empty then just starting over. No husband, no kids, no friends or family to make demands or make me feel obligated. Sorry for the length, I started to type and it kinda ran away from me. . can't even tell my own brain no lol
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