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So um, i will mention abuse and neglect. If you don't wanna read about it, you can scroll away. Let's start with my mom. She abused me physically and emotionally since i was born and recently started sexually abusing me. She hits me quite often (varying from slaps to hitting me repeatedly with iron bars or wood for fire or old belts. The belt left me with a bruise for 2-3 weeks.) In December sje wanted to smash my head against a wall, i realized that could literally kill me so i scratched her face with my nails in self defense (it helped lol), after that she called the whole family that supports her to say im the one who hit her, im abusive, im aggressive. In January (the belt incident) i called the police on her and now she has criminal record of domestic violence (doesn't jave any proof in it, I'll take it down since it doesn't help me at all and it could cause me more trouble because cps in my country is known to abuse/traffick children.)She constantly mocks my interests or way of acting. She constantly tells me im stupid and evil. She isolated me since November after i refused to get hit and blocked her hits and pushed her away (not with strength to cause her harm, i just wanted to not get hit) so she gave me a 'punishment' to stay at home until December. In December she found another thing to ground me. And it repeats. Now she's taking my devices and internet, i have online friends that are supportive of me and hate her (we've been friends for 4-5 years. I usually rant to them when anything happens so they know her quite well.) She's basically isolating me from help. This week she refused to leave my room when i was changing and i had to beg her to just go and leave me alone to change. She repeatedly said that its her house and she can do whatever she wants. She also said she wouldn't help if and hopes i get sexually assaulted. Also invalidated my experience with dad (that will be down below until i finish about mom) I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety around 2-3 times some years ago, she refuses to get me treatment. She neglects my health so much...Last year I caught a flu that killed millions and she treated me horribly, she angrily picked me up from school and just kicked me in the streets while I was almost dying from fever. I also have very painful period pains (might actually have endometriosis but got 0 medical help for it since I need a parents consent for it and she won't mind actually taking care of me) and mom just makes me do painful things, doesn't care about my pain, even insults me for it. My mental health has been getting funky🤪 since 9 (5 years ago) and i experienced depression, anxiety, hallucinations, ocd and i would say, a very little ptsd. (but it also seems i was born neurodivergent, having both autism and adhd symptoms). So I'm just visibly struggling, even tried my best to get to the schools counselor twice on my own and she doesn't care. I told her multiple times i want therapy and she just refused to take me to it. I told her multiple times i tried committing suicide and she beat me. The moment 10 year old me realized i can't trust mom. Also random facts: Shes ok with pedophiles, might have pushed her sister into committing suicide, sexually assaulted dad, cheated on dad. My parents are divorced since i was 10 (4 years ago) Has every symptom of narcissistic personality disorder and this disorder would explain a lot of her behavior and way of behaving. My dad has a history of sexually abusing minors (helped in trafficking a 16y.o when he was 40), stalked me bathing (like just stared at me for 40 minutes bathing myself) for 2 years and stopped because of lockdown and his girlfriend resembles a child(shes 140cm,petite). He used me in the divorce case, mentally abused me saying he'll leave me and mom homeless. Refused until recently to pay child support, faked not having a job just for this reason. He doesn't want custody of me. (he didn't want me to begin with, he didn't want to have intercourse with mom to begin with) Random facts: He left the home in 2017 (but didn't interact with us since 2015-2016) and I think I got from him the schizophrenia/psychosis genes, he had symptoms of it lol So yeah... My last hope to escape this household and life basically is to take an exam to enter high school and move in another town to 'study'.
