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Roobeen
941 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 3, 2019
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At What Point Does it Start
Eating Disorder Support / by Roobeen
Last post
 September 6th, 2019
...See more I'm a young, spry, moderatley speedy cross country runner at my highschool. Right now I'm pretty slim and muscular. However, when I go home (even after doing my very best to eat wholesome meals and snacks all day) and finish dinner, I get the uncontrollable urge to eat, eat, eat. I've gained some weight because of this, which might actually be good since I was restrciting for so long and was underweight, but now I'm scared that I can't stop. I KNOW I need more calories than the average person because I'm growing and running, but I eat until pain and nausea every other night. I'm doing my best to stop tracking calories, but when I give in and log it all I can see that I've gone FAR over any amount that could be considered healthy even for a teen athlete. I've lost sleep due to staying up to finish the homework I should have done while I was busy stuffing myself. Then I wake up the next day bloated, gassy, and guilty. The amount of fat I binge on (though it's from nuts) is absurd, even when I mix healthy fats into all my meals throughout the day. I'm so tired of this cycle. My mom knows, my doc knows, my parakeet knows. I drink water, I snack, I hardly eat added sugar. I'm addicted to 0% greek yogurt and eat so many vegtables you'd think I'm a vegan (I'm not.. heh). How can I keep myself from eating to physcial pain and exhaustion, and instead find satisfaction in putting down my fork? I know there is no magic answer, but if theres anyone in a similar situation as me, lets talk, please. My fellow runners are sympathetic, but don't get it.
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