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Rebekahzombie
775 M Little Steps
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts49 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes48 Current upvotes48 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 30, 2015
Bio
"Sometimes we lose pieces of who we are in times of great sorrow and distress. And then we have to find a way to get them back."
Recent forum posts
Stop Telling Me Happiness Is My Choice
Depression Support / by Rebekahzombie
Last post
 August 8th, 2017
...See more A close friend and I have been talking lately about falling into bad mental health days, weeks, or sometimes months. We were talking about what scared us the most about it and it's the constant fear of becoming someone you aren't, that doppelganger version of yourself that looks like you but is completely foreign. I'm beginning to fall into something again. I can just see a difference in my attitude with going out with people and getting out of bed. And once I hit this moment of feeling like something is on its way, it's constant fear of not wanting it to come. The hard part is that we can't trust our emotions when we are dealing with inner stuff. I find it hard to know what is legit on how I'm feeling or what are feelings being caused by my mental state. Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, Im not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times youve felt that way. But sometimes thats not enough. What I wouldn't do to have a clear head and happy thoughts. I recently read this quote that stuck with me, "At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." I just feel like at the center of myself is tainted misery, filled with great sorrow and distress and I am running around trying to find a way to distract myself from it all. I am a living, breathing mess winging it. Stop telling me happiness is a choice because that is all I aiming for in life.
Working With Monsters
Anxiety Support / by Rebekahzombie
Last post
 August 18th, 2017
...See more The day I graduated high school I was filled with joy that I was leaving behind four years of petty people, back stabbing and my anxiety ridden days. Fast forward five years and I have realized that most of our population does not grow up... people tend to turn out to be full blown savages and they dwell at work places where I have to learn to deal with them. Six months ago I started working for a company that feed off of each others suffering. I swear thats how they like to live their life. Manipulating one another and tearing them down instead of building them up. I started to fall into that path of destruction. Until I realized how many broken people there is at my workplace. How many people cry before having to enter the doors. How many people tell me they are scared of the boss. How many people come to me telling me they are only ever ridiculed. People trying their best but never appreciated so they stopped caring. A toxic environment filled with broken people. A toxic environment filled with nothing but fear and anger. I could only say that it will get better so many times before I realized that it wasn't. Work there was always going to be angry people being taught by angrier people with the result of a sea of nervous wrecks. I never experienced such a place and I'm thankful that my first few jobs were under more healthy terms. I am a positive person. I do fall short sometimes. I lose my temper or I get frustrated at people. But I promise you that I don't hold people's mistakes over their head. I like to focus on the strengths that people bring to the table and make sure they know they are doing a good job. Do you know why I have this mindset? Because I have been lucky until this point in my life to have been under good management. They took pride in their work, taught me patience, and pursued proper work ethic. I had leadership that continued to push me, let me grow in my strengths and help me strengthen my weaknesses instead of punish me for them. They made me feel that my job was important and that forever changed my view on minimum wage jobs or any job for that matter. When it comes to your job you need to be taking pride in your work. Excel. Grow. Learn. Not backed into a corner.
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