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ReaperOs
4 182 M Embraced 1
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceOctober 5, 2024
Recent forum posts
Do I try too hard?
Friendship Support / by ReaperOs
Last post
 October 12th
...See more I met a girl in a game, and we became friends. We quickly became good friends, I guess, because it felt like that. We talked and played every day for the past two months, and we still do, but 3 days ago something felt like it broke a bit between us. I feel like I'm the reason why it happened because, when we talked that night, she sent me some kind of face treatment. I don't know exactly what it was, but I was like, "she will earn money and buy it in the future." Then I said, "or I'll earn money and buy it for her." She asked why I want to sponsor/buy her so many things, and I was like, "I don't know, maybe I just want to make you happier by doing that." I'm not exactly sure why, but I just feel like that for some people I like, and I want to make them happier so it would make me happier by seeing them enjoy something I said or bought. The next day, from just saying goodnight to saying hi in the morning, things changed. There was less talking, and it felt like she was drifting away from me. Even when we were on a voice call and I stopped talking for a bit, she wouldn't say anything like, "why aren't you talking? Say something," like she used to. She used to talk much more to me, and I don't know if I'm at fault or what happened. I would ask what's going on, but I'm worried that she’s going to dump me and stop talking to me. I'm mostly a lonely person, except for my one best friend that I can always count on and my family, but I'm not talking to them about these kinds of things so they don't need to worry about me. My biggest problem is that I don't have friends to talk to, and conversations with me are boring. I always try to hold onto the people I meet and like a lot because I have a great time with them. But sometimes I feel like I'm too much, or I worry, care, and try too hard to be the best for them. It feels like I'm putting pressure on them or something like that. I don't know how to explain it, but yeah, I hope you understand what I mean. After a lot of overthinking and having depression return for a bit, I decided to start changing something little by little, but I'm still not exactly sure how. I'm trying something and hope it will work out, but still, I wish I had a bit more friends that I could talk to and meet with, so I would be able to focus more easily on happier things than sad ones. I hope you survived till the end and thank you for reading that.
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