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RaspberryRiver
2,577 M Hopeful Heart 5
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts191 Forum posts67 Forum upvotes57 Current upvotes57 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2018 Member sinceApril 16, 2018
Bio
I’m not really sure about myself that much. I live in a Christian home (conflicted about that) and I’m trying to find out who I am... I have a ton of LGBT questions and other problems I’m trying to beat. I like to drown myself in TV, books and games so I can ignore life, which doesn’t work that well.
Recent forum posts
weird affection?? please help
Anxiety Support / by RaspberryRiver
Last post
 November 21st, 2018
...See more hey, im having a weird problem. so, all of my friends are really kind and i love them alot, and there's some people in my friend group that i like less but are still nice. the weird thing is, no matter what, EVERYONE treats me like, a little sister? like i need to be protected and stuff, and boys cant talk to me, etc. BUT IM A BOY, and they know that, but it still happens? i dont cut my hair because, idk, its like a hoodie but part of me so i can avoid eye contact. but its making me uncomfortable as to how they view me and i dont know how to change it.
i never want to tell anybody. is that okay?
Trauma Support / by RaspberryRiver
Last post
 November 6th, 2018
...See more trigger warning obviously, im too tired to filter myself. so, i was sexually assaulted over a period of five years by a boy a couple years older than me, when i was six. it happened frequently, and i hated it, but i didnt tell anyone because when kids used to hurt me and i went home bleeding or something, i got in trouble for "having bad friends". basically, im always responsible for what happens to me, so it would be better to hide it. as he got older he slowly stopped, and we didnt talk about it. he's REALLY close with my family and friends, and he seems to act like it never happened. he kinda vaguely apologized sorta maybe, it was really inspecific but i feel like he was trying? it doesnt really matter. i dont ever want to talk to anyone about it, pretty much as long as i live, but is that OK? alot of people have been talking about the subject recently and ever time it comes up everyone is very REPORT THEM and idk why. it hurts more to talk about it, especially to him, than ignoring it. he's still kinda physical, like just placing his hand places he doesnt touch other people, or like if a large group is on the couch he always ends up pushed up close to me, and it makes me kinda panicky. i dont want to say anything, but people act like that silence is wrong? i just want to live normally. i would pay him to not talk about it. i just want to be left alone. i just wish i could forget it ever happened. please help, in really twisted up inside over this.
i dont ever want to tell anybody about it. is that okay?
Trauma Support / by RaspberryRiver
Last post
 November 7th, 2018
...See more trigger warning obviously, im too tired to filter myself. i was assulted over a period of five years by a boy a couple years older than me when i was six. it happened frequently, and i hated it, but i didnt tell anyone because when kids used to hurt me and i went home bleeding or something, i got in trouble for "havinh bad friends". as he got older he stopped, and we didnt talk about it. he's close with my family and friends, and he seems to act like it never happened. he kinda vaguely apologized sorta maybe, it was really inspecific but i feel like he was trying? it doesnt really matter. i dont ever want to talk to anyone about it, pretty much as long ad i live, but is that OK? alot of people have been talking about it recently and any time something near the subject comes up everyone is very REPORT THEM and idk why. he's still kinda physical, like just placing his hand places he doesnt touch other people, or like if a large group is on the couch he always ends up pushed up close to me, and it makes me kinda panicky. i dont want to say anything, but people act like that's wrong? i just wish i could forget it ever happened.
I can
Eating Disorder Support / by RaspberryRiver
Last post
 April 29th, 2018
...See more I havent eaten anything for six days and I feel so so so tired but every time I try to eat something I just start gagging like its the worst thing in the world and I feel awful and i hate being like this. This is the third time this has happened, and last time went for 11 days... I dont want to wait another five days or more I want to be better but I just cant make myself
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