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Politonno
1 1,652 M Little Steps 6
I'm a guy fallen in love with sciences, arts. Draw, play sandbox videogames or informative books.
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts175 Forum posts64 Forum upvotes74 Current upvotes74 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceNovember 25, 2023
Bio

I love sciences and arts. I do both, I'm studying Sea Sciences at University, thing I wanted since I was 4. I've always been interested on animals, plants, fungus, but also about theoretical physics such as quantum mechanics. Some engineering too, specially SpaceX Starship rocket (in the right side of my profile picture).

I also like history and languages, I'm catalan (Spain) so I speak both catalan and spanish perfectly, but I am also learning basque, french, romanian, hungarian, aragonese and I plan more.

In the field of arts, I draw, kinda a lot (at least until my depression came in last year). I have projects such as comic fanfictions and original comics and books. I used to watch anime and read manga, specially Dragon Ball and My Hero Academia, but since a couple of years ago I'm on stand-by.

In the last few months, I've been gaining interest in architecture, specially the old islamic and Central Asian architectures and
catalan modernism too. I love the Sagrada Família (in the left side of my profile picture) and victorian/edwardian clothing.

Despite these characteristics, and the fact that I have TEA (autism spectrum), I've been passing through a depression since last year's summer (2022). I didn't became aware of it until about 6 months later, when I fell in love with a girl but external things didn't go well and I felt a lot of pain I had been hiding for years. My family also struggles with economic problems and lack of familiar support (uncle and aunts). I began taking action from my depression in late february and since may-june, I'm having a 30-minute session with my psychologist therapist every 2 weeks. But I've had moments of pain, confusion and sometimes self-destruction. 

I just want to work on my self-esteem, and having a safe place to text about my harsh feelings whenever I need, because I am not always on the mood of talking verbally. I tend to express a lot more in text, even with my friends.


IMPORTANT: I fully respect 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈LGBT+ community 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 and I've searched a bit about the biological and evolutive meaning of the sexual diversity. I'm fully on your side against the discrimination and minorization you suffer everyday, although I'm not inside the community 'cause I am not LGBT+, but I've experienced bullying in my life a lot of times and don't want anyone to feel ashamed for what they are.

Recent forum posts
My mother couldn't make a sale so she won't earn any money this month
Anxiety Support / by Politonno
Last post
 August 13th
...See more My mother is a comercial agent and she does only charge when she sells. It's hard to do so in my little city, with little population and not much diversification. My mom can't search for better jobs. She has no opportunities because she didn't gain any experience in the last 7 years because of debt, manipulation and past failed businesses, that blocked her from obtaining a normal job. Her (and our) life has gone downhill pretty much since I was born (I have 3 more brothers; 2 older brother and sister and 1 younger sister) and she says that there's no solution because apparently she has tried everything. I tried to make her happier but this situation seems hopeless. We lost our home 6 years ago (I was 14) and we have no stable nor comfortable place to call "home". There are no ONGs that work when you're not in the extreme of extremes, and social services are absolutely USELESS, and we have no useful contacts. So next month will be more boring and tough than this one. My daily life doesn't feel safe nor comfortable in any way.
I had an attempt... And I'm not sure how to express it to close ones
Self-Harm Recovery / by Politonno
Last post
 June 26th
...See more I had a discussion with my mother because I didn't do all what she told me to in the kitchen, and she said strong words to me. My father came in and I felt even more ashamed. Every thing I was doing was worse each time. So I finally went to my room, grabbed a pen and painted in my arm strongly (instead of using a harmful tool because I have a personal law about avoiding self-harm as much as I can). I told my friends but I still unsure how to tell my mother. I don't want to unnecessarily bother her or make her feel guilty. She doesn't seem to feel bad for her earlier behavior with me, although I've apologized for my negligence. How should I tell her?
Today's final semester exam went pretty well
Depression Support / by Politonno
Last post
 January 27th
...See more Today I had a lot of anxiety and lack of any motivation for soing anything productive due to the overwhelming incoming final semester exams and personal hoplessness in other topics, and I had today Marine Geology. I didn't pass the last exam of this subject, so I thought I had to study all again and have a full reevaluation. In the end, however, I remembered that my previous mark wasn't that bad, 4.6/10, so I didn't have to do the extended exam. I did the normal one and went pretty good. I bothered my teacher for no reason, but he says that not to worry. It's the first time in the whole grade that an exam goes well since november. I have another one in the 25th, but it's not a very hard topic unlike the previous ones this month of final exams. One of them had almost a zero... That's never been normal and I don't want to tell my parents about that one yet... But my mother is very proud of me for today after all my emotional exhaustion and despite the distractions I had.
Final exams. No motivation. Only distraction. Antiety.
Depression Support / by Politonno
Last post
 January 20th
...See more My mom don't understand at all my situation, she thinks I'm simply lazy. I don't study, then I have bad marks, then I get grief and shame for myself. I don't even have motivation to keep buying the only prescribed medication by my psychiatrist. I'm a fraud.
What about catalan?
Around the World / by Politonno
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more I am from Catalonia, a region in Spain known for its own language, catalan, which is my first language. Catalan language is spoken in some places called the "Catalan Lands", including 4 different countries: Catalonia, Valencia, Aragon and the Balearic Islands (Spain), the whole of Andorra, the Atlantic Pyrenees department, called "Rosselló" (France) and the city of Alguer in the italian island of Sardinia. Barcelona, located in Catalonia, has a lot of history, art and international importance, so you may think that catalan language has some importance here. That's very far from reality. Spanish, as a globally dominant language, is largely spoken in Barcelona and catalan is left aside because it's less important in the practical aspect. This makes many people not to want to learn catalan nor speak it, because "we already understand them". This makes me very uncomfortable because at University, with many people around Spain coming here do not see a need of learning catalan (even though there are organizations and communities about linguistic respect about catalan, and the lessons in my career classes are done in catalan), and many other say the same: it's not needed to learn catalan because in Spanish "we already undedstand them", and because we are bilignual, we must use spanish to communicate with those people. This is exhausting and depressing for me, less than 40% of Catalonian population speaks catalan as the main language. I feel isolated in some of the urbanized regions of Catalonia, where young people don't speak catalan anymore. There's a social mechanics that happens when a person in a group speaks only spanish for comfortable reasons, despite having perfect knowledge of catalan, and then the other people speaks spanish too as a reflect unvoluntary act. Also because you can't know if someone knows catalan or not if they're speaking constantly in spanish, amd then I can't express myself in my own language. That's incredibly sad for me and makes me feel more depressed than I am, because I don't see any significant support for my own language even in my own community.
Is Asia a beautiful continent?
Around the World / by Politonno
Last post
 December 25th, 2023
...See more I want someday to visit some countries in central Asia, places in China, Russian Siberia, Mongolia, temples in the Indochina and mosques in Western Asia. Peopoe who traveled around the world, what do you think about the beauty of Asian destinations?
What do you think about the Sagrada Família?
Around the World / by Politonno
Last post
 December 11th, 2023
...See more The famous Sagrada Família is a basilica situated in the catalan city of Barcelona (Spain), the most visited monument in the country. It's a very weird church but also very beautiful. There's simply no other building like it. But what do you like about it? What are your favourite parts of it? What makes you feel like?
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