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Oxymoron6demon
2,600 M Hopeful Heart 5
PathStep 101 Compassion hearts122 Forum posts108 Forum upvotes115 Current upvotes115 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 20, 2019
Recent forum posts
5 days clean!
Self-Harm Recovery / by Oxymoron6demon
Last post
 July 21st, 2020
...See more Hey guys! This us my first time posting in the Goals and Success section! I am 5 days clean today and while it may not be a long time, I am very proud. I've had a rough week with ups and downs and I've had many urges. I was so scared that I was going to relapse twice today. I downloaded an app that's called I Am Sober that helps me track the number of days clean and I think that this is a big step for me. I'm hoping to make it to a week clean!
I can't take it anymore.
Self-Harm Recovery / by Oxymoron6demon
Last post
 May 16th, 2021
...See more I have been self-harming for the past two years and I want to go get help and to get a diagnosis from a therapist for several things (depression, bpd etc.) but I can't becuase my parents don't know anything about it. I can't tell them becuase my mother constantly belittles other people with mental illnesses in front of me and she says that those people need to getter better before they get mental illnesses (I don't know, it doesn't make any sense). She has also laughed at me when I once gathered up the courage to tell her that I think that I might have depression (about 2 years ago) and I was going to tell her about my self harm but then she was like, "Where did you learn this? The internet? You really are stupid enough to belive that stuff?" So I denied everything that I said. I relapsed today (for self-harm) and I feel terrible. My parents are constantly telling me to be better, and to be faster than other people. My mom screams at me when I want to have some alone time (she says that I'm wasting my time) and whenever I disagree with her on just about anything, she starts to scream at me, then she literaly denies that she even said anything. She once told me that the world woudn't care I died and she has never once apologised. I'm scared and alone. I don't want to self diagnose becuase I know that it's bad and that it's frowned upon but I really have no choice. SometImes I tell myself that I'm just looking for lables and that there are other people that are seriously harmed by these things but other times I feel so mentally depressed. I put on a mask everyday (mostly back when I still had school and before corona) and no one really notices. My ex-best friends mother died a few days before and I don't know what to feel. I didn't know her that well but I still knew her. I mean I went over to her house a lot before and she was always really nice to me. I just don't know anymore. My head is always so loud. Sorry for the rant. I know it probablly doesn't make any sense and everything is jumbled toghether. I'm also trying to sort out the thoughts in my head. I was in a rush to finish this becuase my parents also don't know about 7cups and if they did, they would probably take it aways. Anyways thanks to anyone who bothered to read through this, it means a lot.
Alone in my mind. (TW)
Personality Disorders Support / by Oxymoron6demon
Last post
 June 16th, 2020
...See more I'm really confused and lost. I don't have the access to a professional therapist becuase my mom doesn't believe that I have mential illnesses and she refuses to take me to a doctar. So I turned to the Internet and did a lot of � research. And I can relate to the symptoms of BPD so much. I know very well that I can be wrong and self diagnosis can't really give me the answers but that's all I have. I'm suicidal, I self-harm, I have intense fear of abandonment as well as paranoia, I have extreme emotion swings, chronic feelings of emptiness, I get paranoird about the smallest details in relationships, and I experience explosive anger when I'm upset. I'm also scared that I'm just trying to validate my feelings and sometimes I tell myself that I'm just trying to find excuses and labels and that there are people who actually struggle with this. I'm 13 and I really don't have anyone to confide in. Please provide advice! [Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to add TW]
I'm Oxy.
Self-Harm Recovery / by Oxymoron6demon
Last post
 June 11th, 2020
...See more Hey guys! You can call me Oxy. I'm 13 and I have dealt with self harm for 2 years now as well as depression and BPD. I'm glad to be here with such a supportive community on my road to recovery.
I'm Oxy.
Self-Harm Recovery / by Oxymoron6demon
Last post
 June 19th, 2020
...See more Hey guys! You can call me Oxy. I'm 13 and I have dealt with self harm for 2 years now as well as depression and BPD. I'm glad to be here with such a supportive community on my road to recovery.
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