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Osd123
3,171 M Seeking Light
PathStep 31 Compassion hearts70 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceAugust 15, 2022
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Wanted to share a tip
Gateway to Growth Paths / by Osd123
Last post
 November 2nd, 2022
...See more i have been struggling a lot with anger lately, and I actually came across this really good tip and trick to toning down anger when it’s too overwhelming or not needed, and though I didn’t find it through 7cups, I thought I’d share in case anyones going through the same: when you’re angry or upset with someone, imagine when they were little. Imagine your partner when they were 7 and they were crying because their father yelled at them about math homework, imagine when your mother was sitting on the curb waiting for her bus in 3rd grade, growing impatient and cold. Imagine all the things that brought them to this point, and find a way to rationalize that they are human too. We are all human, it’s only natural to get upset with on another on occasion, but try to think back to what’s hurt them as well.
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Unsure of everything
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by Osd123
Last post
 October 18th, 2022
...See more I’m undiagnosed, but highly suspect schizophrenia in myself. I hallucinate and hear two particular voices but sometimes others too. They get really loud and it makes it hard to focus on anything, hallucinations aren’t very fun either, I’ve been struggling with it since I was a kid, and never really told anyone in fear I’d be institutionalized. They make my anxiety and depression worse, sometimes it pushes me to anger that I never act on ofc. I’ve never met anyone with schizophrenia, and I don’t claim to have it, but sometimes I wonder if a diagnosis would at least help me to understand a little better, whether it’s schizophrenia or just paranoia or anything else. But I don’t really know who to go to for help. I don’t really know how to help myself in the situation. Intrusive thoughts don’t help either when it’s something horrific and these voices in my head tell me I enjoy it, when I know I don’t. But it can be so difficult when it’s so constant. I don’t know anymore.
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Looking for a long time listener..?
Group Support / by Osd123
Last post
 October 7th, 2022
...See more I’ve encountered some good listeners on here but I’m looking for something a little more solid so I don’t really have to explain everything every time, ya know? I can respect any boundaries a listener has and will not go against them. Idk how to really go about finding a long time listener but I think this is the way??? Sorry if I got it wrong haha, hope everyone’s doing alright anyway :)
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Idk what to do.
Relationship Stress / by Osd123
Last post
 September 25th, 2022
...See more (Sorry for the long story, I wanted to try and make sure everything was on the table with no gaps so it’s understandable) My partner and I have been together for 3, almost 4 years and we’ve been best friends for 6 I think. We’ve never really had large arguments and over all our relationship has been really healthy through out the entirety up until the last couple of months. I started an apprenticeship at my dream job, and before I was unemployed and they worked from home so we were always together, so when I started that schedule for my job it was a struggle for my partner to be alone for such long hours. We had come to the conclusion that I needed a schedule change to where we have the same off days, which I had asked my boss about three months into my apprenticeship to change. This was an issue my partner had with me because I had waited so long to ask, they expressed to me that they felt like I didn’t care or wasn’t trying, which in reality it was my own anxieties of being told no, and eventually when I did ask, I got a yes. So after that schedule change I tried and tried so hard to show that I did in fact care deeply about how they felt and the feelings that they had expressed to me were extremely important, and ofc I was the one at fault in the situation, not them, and I wanted them to know that. So I’ve been trying, as over the span of the apprenticeship we’d grown distant, things didn’t feel ok anymore. During this time, my partner had downloaded bumble, but had it set to the friends search instead of romantic relations, as we had no friends because we just moved. My partner ended up meeting someone who was cool, and they eventually hung out with them and then later that day I joined once I was off work.. and after that they were at my house every day when I’d come home from work. I never had time alone with my partner. It was literally every single day. I tolerated it for a while as I understood the bright eyes towards having a new friend for the first time in years was exciting for both of us, but they seemed a little more elated about it than I, which, as someone with anxiety, sparked a lot of issues that I didn’t speak on for a while. I had ended up asking my partner why this new friend was always over and it was mainly because of this new friends living situation, as they lived in an abusive home and came over often because it was an escape from being at home, which I understood and accepted. But eventually, a couple weeks ago, this friend moved out of that home into their own, since then my partner has been over there every single day, leaving me on delivered for hours at a time, never responding, drinking and having fun with lots of new friends that many of which I haven’t met. I remember one night when they were at our house I came home from work and they were asleep on the couch together kind of close (I have a sectional so they were on opposite sides of the couch but the only thing separating their heads from touching was a single pillow.) so not knowing what my partner is doing is constantly eating at me, especially because even when my partner is home, the second I pick them up they’re already texting their friend and smiling at their phone, never really wanting to talk to me. My partner also recently came out as polyamorous, I am monogamous, and I told them I don’t want anyone else involved in the relationship, and it kind of turned into a fight, and they ended up leaving and sleeping over at their friends house, this has never happened before, we’ve never fought that bad. I asked my partner if they had feelings for their friend and they said no, which I can’t help but feel is a lie. All the pictures I see of them together they’re hugged up together, which I’ve told my partner makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to be more verbal to them about my anxieties so they don’t build up, and I’ll wait a week and if something is still bugging me I speak about it, but it’s like no matter what I tell them about how im feeling it never sticks. My partner will literally stay out until 4 or 5 in the morning on a work night drinking with their new friend while I’m home alone. They never invite me out, one night I got off early and I took my partner and this friend to my house to get ready for the night, and then they left as soon as we got there without even trying to invite me. and I haven’t seen this friend since they moved into their new house. Even when I go pick up my partner, they walk my partner to the end of the drive way without even waving at me, and then they rush back into their house. I can’t tell if I’m being crazy or not anymore. I don’t know what is and isn’t my anxiety anymore. I can’t tell what’s real. I know a lot of this stems from jealousy, but I don’t even know if it’s jealousy anymore. My partner complained about us never having time together and how we never have romantic moments anymore, but they’re literally always there and even when they’re here they act like they want nothing to do with me, I start conversation but they reply dryly. I tried kissing them the other day and they told me I made them uncomfortable (that has never been an issue before meeting this new person) I’m beginning to resent and dislike their friends deeply because of this. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve tried communicating but it feels like a dead end. I need help. I really don’t know what to do.
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