Nightfrost Member Profile

I have a strange feeling

Newbie Hub / by Nightfrost

December 11th

Nightfrost's collection of song lyrics

Music & Dance / by Nightfrost

July 21st

Too Late

Reading & Writing / by Nightfrost

May 20th

I caught a moth.

Reading & Writing / by Nightfrost

May 21st

...See more I have a thin, slightly elastic, transparent plastic box that was once for containing fruit. Now I use it to temporarily shut insects in it. One day, when our dormitory room was filled with darkness except for some illumination at the room's entry, I noticed a moth fluttering and hovering to and fro in the light. My heart tended to beat a little fast and my hands trembled slightly as I took the box and approached the moth, and suddenly the moth flipped its wings more quickly for a sharp rise out of reach. I looked up and there was a short distance between the moth and the ceiling. When I was considering whether to leave it alone, it plunged unexpectedly. In the transitory instance when it landed on the wall and the position was low enough, I swiftly thrust the box onto the wall and carefully moved it to the wall's edge. I cautiously tilted the box a little to make a narrow gap and then abruptly pushed and inserted the lid into the gap. An obvious shiver spread in my palms and fingers and remained for a while. I put the box on my desk and saw it flying with lively and blazing vitality, with its wings moving fast and leaving vague afterimages. Yawning, I walked to the balcony. It was pitch dark outside and I heard loud gurgles of heavy rain pouring down. Successive rainy days filled this area with upsetting moisture. In the morning, the moth still seemed to be in a state as good as hours ago. I took the box to the corridor lit up by light-colored refreshing sunshine. It was cloudy but not dull and dim, and puddles were gradually dried by sunshine which regained its power. With the box in my hand, I reached out of the window, feeling the light vibrations of the box's walls and bottom when the moth was tapping the box. The vibrations were light but vigorous and perhaps eager. I used the other hand to remove the lid and inhaled abruptly meanwhile. The morning sunshine aroused and cleared everything outside and I watched the moth fly into the first fresh day after rain.

My Fantasy

Newbie Hub / by Nightfrost

May 13th

Nightfrost's Photo Display

Hobby Zone / by Nightfrost

November 22nd

For a Slash Ship (First Person; OOC)

Reading & Writing / by Nightfrost

March 7th

...See more (It is written for a slash, or M/M, ship from a story I finished two to three years ago. It is so out of character that I gave up content typical of these characters, so telling who they are can be difficult. However, I did try to deduce what the character would think. I am not good at tense and I confused the order of some sentences.) We have surpassed the bounds with which we can be understood by the world. You used to try to get along with the world but it let you down. I am getting along well with the world, but except you, no one can comprehend my mind. Why are others oblivious of how nice you are? How can I eradicate their prejudice against you? Do preconceptions and misunderstandings always exist? What do you think of me? As the only and best opponent against whom you enjoy competing? As the only person deserving your hearty recognition? As your best friend who was but isn't able to understand you? As a disappointing friend who can't keep pace with you in mentality and concept? I am left behind. I am abandoned. There is nothing to keep you with me anymore. If only I could return to the time when we understood each other and shared the same dream. How lonely and determined you are when you depart, leaving me at a loss, although you used to treasure our friendship so much. Since you always responded to my false depression, could you please come back to respond to my true one, too? My dream is the most important and you are the second most important, and I had to sacrifice the second most important for the most important, but then I felt my dream was incomplete without you. The memories of making efforts to realize this dream with you recurred in my mind, and your sincere smile, when it came true, was the most beautiful thing. My tears ran down with the rain which was falling on my face. I am having dreams about that rainy day again and again, in which you plop to the ground covered with water, and I fall to my knees, with your last words lingering in my ears. Have both of us gone to extremes? I refuse any cure and try nothing to heal myself, letting my gloom and despondency gradually consume me. What is the most important? Is there a better way? How can I include you in my future? The gloomy rain is the end of our story and I have to finish the last part of my life without you. Since when have I been no longer able to understand you? Why can I no longer keep pace with you? Why do I fail to hold onto you even when I try my best? Although there are many people around me, there is no one to empathize or resonate with me anymore. When I started to think about romance, something unfamiliar pushed into a forgotten corner by troublesome public affairs, scenes from our shared stories suddenly resurfaced in my mind, evoking a piercing pain inside me. You were my precious romance I failed to realize in time and retain. I am thought of by the world as powerful and widely loving as a god. I am carried to the shrine from which I am unable to descend to hold the hand of you, my best friend considered a demon. However, I am not really a god and you are not really a demon. It was just that we walked to the light and you parted with me to take an extreme way. You are not to seriously blame. It is great excitement to meet and compete as opponents again. Sorry, you are hurting our shared dream in the past, so I can't spare you. Both you and I can sacrifice anything for our dreams, which makes us the best-matched pair. Your dream is shattered, while my dream is inhabited by dark injuries. You are too impatient, while I am too naive, but both of us have good intentions. Although you become the enemy of the world, I always believe that you have kindness and gentleness inside and that you aren't wrong. It must be a tough endeavor to endure those lonesome and arduous years for your purpose, reminding me of your solitary and determined figure when you left. I grew so attached to you and emotionally dependent on you before I recognized my affection for you that I tried to confine you with our shared dream in the past, but I actually confined myself instead, causing myself not to empathize with you anymore. Fortunately, there was an understanding conversation to bridge the gap between our minds before we went to the afterworld together. You are not an evil villain. You seek to make the world a better place where people can enjoy a peaceful and happy life, just as I do. You try to rely on yourself to achieve the purpose more quickly and directly, while I depend on the later generations, who inherit my dream, to correct mistakes gradually and find the right way to achieve it. I believe the world will heal and improve itself, which will take generations of people's wisdom. The process won't be completed by only one or a few. It is time for us to say goodbye to the world. I lost you, my favorite, dearest, nicest, and most important person long ago before I eventually retrieved you and could stay with you as intimate friends again and forever.

KiryUsu's Romance (fan work of haikyuu)

Reading & Writing / by Nightfrost

January 30th

...See more It may look like some nonsense. It's about how I look at this ship, so it's different from fan works I posted before. I can’t confirm whether Usuri is wise, but I’m prone to think he isn’t very wise. There is no doubt that he is very analytical, observant and manipulative, based on his performance during the match. He is the type to play mind games and plan many steps ahead. However, such an intelligent person can do something that doesn’t seem very clever. “You are the ace. And I get that setting the ball for you a lot and leaning on you like that puts a big burden on your shoulders. Heck, in some games you’re getting hounded by the other team like nobody’s business, and I still put it up for you. I get all that! But I put that ball up for you because I want to!” Usuri has great admiration for Kiryuu and thinks of their ace as the best there is. He is straightforward in showing his trust and high expectations for Kiryuu. He knows clearly that relying on Kiryuu too much has a bad impact on the ace’s state, and that he shouldn’t set the ball for Kiryuu so many times. According to what he tells Kiryuu, it is revealed that Usuri could have made better choices. Usuri can take advantage of the other team’s attention to Kiryuu and seize the chance to do a dump. I wonder whether he can manage to deflect the opponents’ attention off Kiryuu when needed. Usuri is quite likely to know when he needs to do so. Although he sets to his other teammates, Usuri seems to prefer setting to Kiryuu, which can be explained by how powerful, capable and talented Kiryuu is. But he is aware of the changing of Kiryuu’s state. Aren’t the other members dependable enough? “Quit leaning on Wakatsu to save your lazy butts every dang time!” What the coach says to the team is reasonable. Usuri knows it’s unsuitable to lean much on Kiryuu but he does so. Can his trust and expectations interfere with his sense? Usuri firmly and strongly believes Kiryuu is the best, which can plausibly be summarized as great admiration. The statement “because I want to” seems to imply a certain kind of desire. Why does Usuri want to put the ball up to Kiryuu? Though everyone on the team concentrates on the match and puts in much effort, it’s a pity that Mujinazaka loses. There is very likely to be an undercurrent of desire, which probably seems a little unreasonable or selfish, swirling in Usuri’s mind. Seeing that Kiryuu is going to graduate soon, Usuri wants to unveil it but chooses not to do so. Maybe Usuri enjoys watching Kiryuu behaving as the best one on the court, and likes it when Kiryuu leaps and smashes the ball with great power. Usuri may think it exciting that Kiryuu hits the ball Usuri tosses to him and gets scores. Perhaps he wants Kiryuu to confidently display how excellent he is. He is proud of Kiryuu and also loves being proud of him. Usuri can’t help urging Kiryuu to live up to his high expectations and maintain his great figure in Kiryuu’s mind. And he’s certain that Kiryuu won’t let him down. Then can Usuri’s desire be considered as a mix of willful appreciation and perverse admiration? It is Kiryuu’s last year at Mujinazaka High so there aren’t many chances left for them to play volleyball together as teammates. Does Usuri hope Kiryuu can hit the ball set by him as many times as possible? I think Usuri has already realized that Kiryuu and he will step on diverged paths stretching into the future. Since the time of playing volleyball with Kiryuu is confined to two years in his high school life, every chance to set the ball for Kiryuu seems precious. From what Usuri says, it’s not his first time to do that, but it looks like his first time to tell Kiryuu about his thoughts on such behavior. I won’t be surprised if informed that Usuri starts to do that when he is a first-year high school student. He is proficient in both receiving and setting, and he makes decent serves, so this intelligent setter is likely to be in the starting lineup even during his first year at Mujinazaka High. Without any assumption or conception, it can be seen that Usuri is a big fan of Kiryuu. He is encouraging and supportive, both a nice friend and a good teammate of Kiryuu. Usuri seems closest to Kiryuu among all his teammates. Before joining the Mujinazaka Volleyball Club, what Usuri wants may be to play volleyball as a setter on Kiryuu’s team. Then he may hope to become Kiryuu’s friend. As Kiryuu’s friend, his wish may be upgraded to being Kiryuu’s best friend. Should he stop here as Kiryuu’s best friend, when there can be an abyss waiting to engulf him a step away? After Mami and Unnan start their romantic relationship, Usuri secretly consents to incubate his own vague and soft feelings in his mind. If fortunately, Kiryuu can requite his affection, then Usuri will let all his feelings for Kiryuu hatch immediately and sincerely give them to Kiryuu. If Kiryuu doesn’t have such feelings for him, then Usuri will kill his own feelings before they can hatch. Therefore, it’s necessary to sound out Kiryuu on how he feels for Usuri. Usuri is likely to deliberately overstep the boundary of friendship a little, within the range that he can both conceal his motive and convince Kiryuu that his behavior is unintentional, in case Kiryuu shows any dissatisfaction. Kiryuu lets him down in this aspect. Usuri never gets the response he wants. It doesn’t seem appropriate to confess his affection to Kiryuu after Mujinazaka is eliminated during the last Spring High National Tournament Kiryuu participates in, but Usuri still tries to vent his suppressed emotion. As is expected by Usuri, Kiryuu doesn’t dig into his words. “Everybody’s expectations had me scared. But today I learned something. Seeing that ball go up for me is what pushed me to give my best.” Obviously, Kiryuu acknowledges and recognizes what Usuri does. However, it seems that what lets Usuri differ from others is that he is a setter. Or perhaps he seems different because he’s the only one who confides some thoughts to Kiryuu after the match. Kiryuu tends to over-analyze, so can he notice the hints Usuri drops? As Usuri’s best friend, he may never suspect that Usuri has any ulterior motives towards him. He may even rarely complain about Usuri’s somewhat improper behavior, but makes up excuses for what Usuri does, which makes sense to himself, in his mind instead. Kiryuu enjoys being with this friend, but he isn’t into romance. He may congratulate on the romance of people around him, and that’s his only contact with romance. Unnan seems relatively clever and sensitive, so I think he may conjecture that there can be something unusual in Usuri towards Kiryuu. I don’t believe Usuri can ensure no small flaws in his camouflage. Unnan may hesitate to intervene, but he may disclose a little to Mami. Mami knows there isn’t much evidence to support what Unnan says, but he accidentally spills it out to Kiryuu. Although prone to trusting his best friend, Kiryuu is so confused and curious that he asks Usuri. Usuri is prepared for such a situation so it’s easy for him to get rid of Kiryuu’s suspicion. However, he misses a given chance to have Kiryuu realize what he’s eager for is something further than friendship. He may plan to convey his affection after the team’s celebration of winning the national tournament. He makes up his mind to tell Kiryuu that he isn’t content with being the only best friend. Losing both the game and his romance, Usuri uses tears to abreact his sadness and frustration. He disguises his hidden feelings for Kiryuu and his misplaced desire as willful appreciation and perverse admiration, and feels like smiling when looking at Kiryuu’s encouraging smile. Kiryuu is a responsible captain, an excellent player, and a nice friend. He is sure to continue playing volleyball as his career and Usuri wishes all the best for him. Usuri has his path to walk on and his business to be busy with, and they can get in touch as friends. But Usuri doesn’t know if he can still be Kiryuu’s best friend in the future. Usuri isn’t adroit in romance as it’s his first one, but he is a smart person. He is a vile and cunning opponent who can bait the other team into his trap and create an advantage for his team. His personality is described as awful or shady when he gets overly excited into the game. But he is nice to Kiryuu. Usuri likes Kiryuu so much that he can’t tolerate turning his dark side to him. According to his intelligence and his familiarity with Kiryuu, he can spend months patiently luring Kiryuu into his romantic trap. Kiryuu has no experience in romance, either, so he can’t be shrewder than Usuri in this aspect. However, Usuri can’t allow himself to do so. He can’t treat Kiryuu as an opponent he needs to defeat. But he doesn’t know how to possess Kiryuu without planning some strategies. If using strategies, he will think he is trying to compel Kiryuu to have feelings for him. Usuri is nice to Kiryuu enough to undoubtedly deserve his trust. Usuri doesn’t know exactly why he disdains to play mind games in romance. Maybe it’s because Kiryuu is too good for him to do so. He is an immature and unfortunate secret admirer who can’t have his affection requited. He secretly and quietly extinguishes his affection for Kiryuu, but the lingering dull pain inside him deters him from persuading himself to believe the affection has never existed.

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