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MsIncognito
5,147 M Seeking Light 8
PathStep 46 Compassion hearts1,620 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes45 Current upvotes45 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceJune 5, 2022
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Its complicated..
Relationship Stress / by MsIncognito
Last post
 June 16th, 2022
...See more I dont want advice I had been with this person for a while now and i really dont know what to do. I love them but I'm not even sure they love me, at least anymore. They've been going through a lot of emotions. They wont listen to me or they treat me like i dont exist. It's getting harder to handle this everyday and I'm starting to feel insecure. I always tell myself these things: Maybe they found somebody better. Maybe they are keeping me around just so they could leave. Maybe I've hurt them. Maybe I'm a problem for them. Maybe im doing wrong. Maybe they are planning on leaving soon. Maybe they no longer care about me like how I care for them. They won't communicate with me. I've tried so many ways to spark up a new conversation or to bring some hope in. So now the only thing i can do is keep a smile on my face and protect my heart. I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to do more. I understand it is not my responsibility but I just wish I could do more. Maybe one day it'll all fix itself...
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I've been working on myself
Relationship Stress / by MsIncognito
Last post
 June 19th, 2022
...See more Tmi!!! I don't want comments I just wanted to write. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- So recently I've been talking to a person about personal stuff regarding sex. Like in general and with each other. We talk about how society views on them. Like how some people do not approve of such things whilst others do enjoy such ideas. I am happy to have that person in my life, they have kinda helped me explore my sexual orientation more. I have been exploring myself more things I like and dislike. I hope to be able to explore more with them more as well.
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I need to get this off my chest
Addiction Support / by MsIncognito
Last post
 June 15th, 2022
...See more I was exposed to porn at a really young age maybe first grade or even younger maybe 5-4 yrs old. I have a lot to say I've never told anybody this I just want some help..just anybody to talk to.. So when i was little I used to watch porn on the tv, tbh i dont know why I watched it I was a picture of a naked woman and a man and just wanted to see more of that. So i found it on cable at the time. I cant remember the rest anything after that but My mother eventually found out and she whopped my ass. So ever since that day I just felt so much shame. But theres a bit more. So in 2nd grade something else happened it was a bad thing s family member did to me like sexually and i didnt wanna do that thing and i kinda likebfirgot about it or force myself not to think about it. (Funny thing now it gives me panic attacks) So a few years back from now (currently im in college), in highschool i found a picture of myself and a notebook. In the notebook i drew a lot of inappropriate drawings..abnormal like drawings. And I found like a picture of myself it wasn't a good picture.I dont know who took that picture and i got really upset and ripped up the picture and ripped everything out the notebook and flushed it down the toilet now. Ugh okay to my addiction im not sure if im addicted to porn. But there was a time where I would like idk i just was really messed up and I kept having a lot of flashbacks from my childhood and i took all that sorrow and pain into porn. Like i would watch it all the time i wouldn't leave my room i still dont but like at that time i was a mess. I watched and read a lot of shit and it makes me sick to think about because I would like force myself to feel good i didn't feel good at all. I'd start crying afterwards.. Now in the now. I am like masturbating much healthier than before but I just need to be more aware of when and why I do it. I need to stop doing that when im stressed out and find a different solution. I have been trying hobbies like drawing and reading. Sorry for literally being so detailed i just needed to get this off my chest its been bottling up
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I'm not sure
50 & Over Community / by MsIncognito
Last post
 June 7th, 2022
...See more Hello. I just wanted to check in with myself to write down how I'm truly feeling. I feel alone. I'm lonely. My friends are currently not talking to me. Whenever I try to include myself into the group of friends I have they seem to ignore me. I genuinely try, I try to get into their games, speak to them, and have fun but no matter what I do for some reason they won't include me or ignore me. Now I know I could just bring this up to them and I have but none of them seem to want to try to speak to me. I would genuinely try my hardest within my group to be included. Its just not working. I've reached the point where I've muted the group chat because it frustates me so much I can't even look at it without being upset that nobody wants me around. I've logged out of any social media because it just so tiring trying so hard to make it work... I just don't understand anymore.
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