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Miika815
322 M Embraced 3
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 23, 2021
Recent forum posts
My eating is improving, but it's causing other problems.
Eating Disorder Support / by Miika815
Last post
 January 24th, 2021
...See more Back when i was barely eating, I was constantly fatigued, moody and generally feeling like shite. I told myself it was due to the lack of food, and I felt like this way, it was at least by my own choice I felt this way. After all, I controlled the eating. My eating has improved, I'm having daily meals and maintaining a stable bloodsugar. However, my mood and depression has not improved. I'd say it feels even worse now because I've come to realise I can't blame it on my choice of actions (or lack thereof). I'm feeling so trapped in this depression that the allure of going back to starving myself to regain a sense of control is starting to get overwhelming. At least when I wasn't eating, I could cling onto the belief that I only felt that way because I was hungry or had low bloodsugar, you know? How do I keep myself from going down that rabbit hole again? I've been doing so well, but my life feels so out of control and hopeless and I don't know what to do.
New here
Depression Support / by Miika815
Last post
 January 23rd, 2021
...See more Hey yall. I'm Miika, I'm new here. I suffer from SAD and depression in general. A lot of people with depression describe that emptiness as a gaping black hole inside them, but mine feels more like a tumour. A heavy waste of space compressing the rest of me, leaving less room for the emotions I do have. I feel overwhelmed and numb at the same time, and I'm falling for the classic trap of "I shouldn't tell anyone, I'll be a burden and everyone has their own problems to worry about without me adding to it". I don't know how to break out of it.
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