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Marin2003
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceDecember 24, 2022
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At the ends of the day, all you have is yourself; I’m always alone.
Depression Support / by Marin2003
Last post
 December 26th, 2022
...See more No one’s real anymore, my mind is creating a false reality wrapped in the inconsistencies of my thoughts. I’m suicidal every night and it gets worse as the night gets on. Yet at the same time nighttime is the only time that comforts me. It’s where I can be vulnerable and alone. Everynight I try to concern myself to find someone to talk to, but I soon find a drought and no one’s there. Or I sit there and think how anyone I reached out to would not be able to support me or understand. They couldn’t help or change anything so why bother even trying to reach out for help? I’m the only person who wakes up with myself and goes to bed with myself everyday, all I have is myself and my life and my future rely on myself. But I’m so trapped in my mind I see and know exactly what to do to get better. Yet I’m paralyzed and I can’t breathe. The tiniest things overwhelm me. I hate this world and nearly everyone in it. No one loves you truly as they say you do. When you get to such a low point people get scared, they leave, they don’t know what to do. So you sit there with the guilt of scaring and pushing everyone away so you bottle it up. The wall around my brain grows thicker and thicker as I progressively begin to lose the extravagant person I am. I don’t know who I am anymore, this world has beat me down to a pulp to where I’m unrecognizable. Even to my own family… what have I become.
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