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M2nc4s
4,519 M Seeking Light 6
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts209 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 12, 2019
Bio
"No es tu APTITUD sino tu ACTITUD, la que determina tu ALTITUD!!!"
Recent forum posts
Disclosing personal info online... is not kid's stuff!!! Risks are too great!!!
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by M2nc4s
Last post
 February 6th, 2019
...See more A matter of great importance !!! "This video reveals the magic behind the magic, making people aware of the fact that their entire life can be found online!!!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7pYHN9iC9I
I was taught to keep my trap shut... but that's the end of that!!!
Trauma Support / by M2nc4s
Last post
 February 7th, 2019
...See more I was physically harmed a few minutes ago… Im soring all over… my whole body is badly bruised… and I suffered several injuries, but no critical ones… Im knackered... I'm down in the dumps... and this is a safe way to vent my emotions (otherwise Id be in very deep trouble), cause Im feeling a strong need to self-harm right now and I dont really know if I'll be able to resist the urge to do it... I was taught to keep my trap shut; otherwise, things will only get tougher and worse... but I think it's time to speak out and to express my (negative) feelings through words... Im so embarrassed by myself, but Im also really gutted and despondent... Ive got a lot of anger and frustration inside... I'm feeling completely powerless... frustrated and helpless… weak, desperate and vulnerable… unable to do more than pray… emotionally drained… confused… physically weak… exhausted… Im a wimpish being, easily controlled and manipulated… Although Im getting along and all appeared to be going well on the outside, Im really masking my emotions and feelings... masking my own pain about feeling somewhat imprisoned… In fact, when Im faced with a fearful situation, I try to hide my emotions behind a brave front and to smile while inside Im really crying... Theres a painful contradiction between whats in my head/my mind and the facade I adopt for the rest of the world… Music helps me to escape my feelings... to conceal my true feelings… its my mask... my emotional refugee… I can, in a way, hide behind it… and find a kind of personal safety and emotional security… Worst of all, what hurts most about all this is that the bruises/scars/injuries on my body are being created by people I love… It's like waking up from a deep sleep... I gradually became more aware of what was going on… Not only that, but also all these bad experiences have led to the development of fearful beliefs about the future… I live in perpetual fear… That's why I'm a very insecure and fearful person... and I fall into deep confusion when close contact happens between me and another ppl... It's like I'm a puppet (so to speak) or sth of that sort, void of any feeling, any emotion, any life…
Don
Addiction Support / by M2nc4s
Last post
 February 3rd, 2019
...See more I
Completely overwhelmed... need help!!!
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by M2nc4s
Last post
 January 21st, 2019
...See more Hi guys!!! I
"Home sweet home... careful, it may be a trap!!!"
Trauma Support / by M2nc4s
Last post
 January 22nd, 2019
...See more Hi ppl!!! Im pretty nervous about what to post… but there is no-one I could talk to to get it off my chest… and everything seems such a struggle to me… So... here I go!!! This is the first time Im going to share intimate, personal details about my life, or rather about the day-to-day difficulties and issues I must grapple with… But maybe if Im able to vent out my raw emotions here, Ill feel better (cause now there is a risk that Ill self-harm or take drugs* cause theres no fight left in me… [*Im receiving help with my alcohol and drug addictions… I quit drinking alcohol two years ago but Im still struggling to keep drug-free…]. Im being repeatedly maltreated, threatened with violence and abused [sexual assault] (by some people) since I was a child… but I didnt realize what was happening to me until I grew up (but something inside me was already damaged for life) … As time was going by, I gradually became more aware of what was going on… In fact, I found out these people are involved in some rather shady business and they want me to take part in it. I refused their request … but you cant refuse them anything… From there the situation deteriorated rapidly… On occasions Ive been placed in situations I would consider dangerous… and the horror of these scenes goes beyond anything one could imagine… So many negative emotions are consuming me… In fact, Im being consumed by feelings of complete hopelessness and aloneness…and sometimes Im overcome with guilty feelings too… Once, I felt so desperate that I even contemplated suicide… Im going through hard times and living on a day-to-day basis, unsure of what the future ( ?) will bring… I give up hope… Im in low spirits… Thats why Im calling for help…
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