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LightsOnForever
34,503 M Determined Treads 6
PathStep 111 Compassion hearts2,444 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceApril 8, 2019
Bio

Hello, we are the Lights System. We have DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Many people in one body. We are here to become a better system, and heal. And to help others if we can!

Recent forum posts
Question for other systems
Trauma Support / by LightsOnForever
Last post
March 24th, 2022
...See more Have any of you had severe dissociative episodes for a few days that leave members unable to front? We just dissociated for three days, during that time our body was on autopilot (there’s a fragment that takes over during this period) and when we get like that we can’t seem to snap out of it. It’s extremely frustrating. Anyone have anything like this happen and have tricks to getting out of this state? Thank you Lights System
Broken
Trauma Support / by LightsOnForever
Last post
May 15th, 2019
...See more I guess this is where I should put this. Trigger warnings for sexual abuse and suicide. My father was abusive. He physically abused me and my mother for as long as I could remember. She killed herself when I was ten right before my eleventh birthday. I found her. After that everything got worse. On my eleventh birthday my father raped me for the first time. He controlled my entire life. He pulled me out of school and home schooled me when I turned twelve. He abused and raped me almost daily. He did horrible things to me and made me do things no person should have to. He tortured me, true torture. I hardly ever left my house. Around seventeen I was aware that my life was not normal. I guess I always knew but didnt understand. I didnt know what to do though. I was afraid. When I turned 20 he made me get a job to help support his drug habit. Soon after he got arrested in a drug bust. I told the police everything. They said people would help me, but I must have slipped through the cracks because I never received help or assistance. I applied to jobs and someone took pity on me, gave me a job paying more than I deserved so I could support myself, barely, but it is the greatest kindness Ive ever had in my life. Im 23 now. Even though I got out of my situation, I feel like I didnt. My body survived, but inside I feel broken. Im empty. Numb. I cant make friends or date. I have trouble with simple interaction. I dont feel human. Just someone pretending.
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