LavenderFields88 Member Profile

...See more I have had a life of being afraid of my own shadow. I can constantly see people in the corner of my eye and feel their presence. There are times it startles me and I jump with a rush of adrenaline pulsing through my body instantly. There are other times though, where the presence seems so evil that it scares me even more. I also always feel like people are watching me and when I go outside it becomes very intense at times. I keep telling my psychiatrist that I feel like I am scizophrenic with her response being that she studied a lot recently and found out that trauma can do some pretty crazy stuff to the brain. I have been through a lot, and I mean a lot of unimaginable, horrific trauma and at that time in my life I just lost it. I guess I am trying to share my story and I thought this was a good place to start which was inspired by Miji2023's post, but also I am trying to find out why I am on psych meds if it is just PTSD, depression and anxiety. I was originally diagnosed with bipolar by my own request only to attempt to succeed in getting any pill I could to make the pain and distress go away. My life has been upsidedown for 8 years now because of that push for meds and that diagnosis. Even the idea of being schizophrenic doesn't make sense to me anymore since I am starting to recover from the trauma and learning about PTSD and the episode I had. I lost my dog, my kids, my house, and I found out I couldn't press charges on my brother for molesting me from the age of 6 until I was 15. Wouldn't you go nuts?

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