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Kathy1212
2,076 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 200 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts107 Forum upvotes132 Current upvotes132 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceMarch 27, 2020
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Will I ever heal?
Trauma Support / by Kathy1212
Last post
 May 5th, 2020
...See more My childhood was very dysfunctional and it was pretty traumatic. I was sexually, emotionally, and verbally abused. Then in jr. high I was sexually harassed by a group of boys who ganged up on me. When I became an adult I had 2 boyfriends who beat me. One almost killed me. I've had other traumatic experiences as the years have gone by. I've been to therapy a number of times, but one therapist was very unethical and took advantage of me when I wasn't coping well. I feel so alone, and often wonder if I will ever heal. I'm having a lot of problems in my marriage now. I'm working with a counselor on 7 cups and she's great. I'm having so much trouble managing my emotions though. Things get to me a lot more than most people. I'm way too sensitive, and get hurt very easily. It's very difficult for me to trust anyone. I felt so discouraged yesterday that I seriously considered suicide. Will I ever heal or are there some people who just never do? I've been struggling my entire life.
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My Story
Trauma Support / by Kathy1212
Last post
 April 4th, 2020
...See more Hi. I'm new here, and I'm a bit nervous. I have a history of childhood sexual abuse. About a year ago I discovered that my husband had been using pornography behind by back for several years. I went into shock because that was not the man I knew him to be. I felt very betrayed and that he had lied to me for years. I couldn't believe that I had no idea. There were no signs of what he was doing that I could see. All of this triggered my childhood abuse issues, and at times I feel so angry with him for bringing this into my life. I have Betrayal Trauma which is basically PTSD. He hurt me so deeply, and I feel that he has a moral duty to help me heal. Apparently, he doesn't feel the same. I feel so isolated and alone. I can't handle all of the pain in my life. He says he loves me and that he's sorry for what he did. I would never know it from his actions though. He starts arguments with me a lot when my stress level is already so high. It's seems like the rest of the time he ignores me. I want him to understand how deeply he hurt me, but I don't think he will ever truly get it. I want a safe and secure marriage. I want to feel safe. I don't want to be constantly triggered. I need to heal from what he did and the abuse.
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