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Karrotcake42
315 M Embraced 2
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts29 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2023 Member sinceAugust 10, 2023
Recent forum posts
Hard Time Focusing and Being Productive
ADHD Support / by Karrotcake42
Last post
 August 14th, 2023
...See more In my circumstances I have a hard time studying at school. Everyone talks too much but when I block them out with my AirPods my mind begins reeling and I can’t focus. Like my mind is literally everywhere else but studying. When I’m reading like finally focus I fall asleep about 20-30 minutes in OR I get zapped to the phone. I’ve set up timers and limits last night. What can I do? What do you guys do to study? What about for staying focused and fighting the urge to sleep while reading. I am on an antidepressant which helps me stay functional and I take a better blocker on occasion. I JUST go into the deep breathing thing that’s on here so I’m going to try that but mainly for my crazy unrelenting anxiety. I’ve also come to terms with accepting therapy and understanding why it really is important. I always have this image of myself to portray as even in therapy. This time around, I’m speaking my whole mind and open to all criticism and following guidance. It’s just too expensive right now. So any ideas?
Husband hurt me emotionally and now I’m strugglinr
Relationship Stress / by Karrotcake42
Last post
 August 10th, 2023
...See more I’ve come to terms that my husband severely hurt my feelings. He told me to go to *** and then f you a few weeks later when I went out with male coworkers. He said I was cheating. We finally came to terms that it is not cheating but he completely regretted it the next day. Little does he know I’m shaking with adrenaline and throwing up out of fear of losing someone I care intensely for. I can no longer comfortably eat. I think everyone is out to get me and I can no longer stick to a decision because I think “what if he this — what if he is thinking that”. And my uncertainty I am sure frustrates him. His emotions were so true and real that day how can you turn around and say you did not mean it the next. An apology and “I’ll never do it again” hasn’t been enough. I thought it would be but I’m not healed I am damaged immensely. I’m super paranoid and adrenaline runs every day. He doesn’t physically abuse me but still. He just got his green card from me and is going to see his family for the first time in 5 years. I’m happy for him but he hurt me on two separate occasions that I feel like he is going to up and leave me. Even though he says one thing I can not shake the feeling that he is thinking this way still in the back of his mind. One day he says I think I love you, I don’t know what love means, to I do love you. I think I love you. I need to talk to him about this but he is a truck driver and he is rarely home. I have 2 months of school left and then I’ll get my license to start my work so that won’t be an issue one day. But I think he keeps expecting things to be ok and turn out ok and be left the same every time he leaves. In reality I’m taking hits and pretending like I’m fine. I can not afford therapy but I need to work this out. I’m deteriorating. How can I discuss this with him without feeling invalidated or making it look like I’m blaming him for all of this. It was his behavior that caused this and I no longer want to defend him, but I don’t want to corner him into anything. im very kind and very sensitive and I’m trying to teach him to be and do the same. We have a language barrier by the way so communicating takes a bit longer but we do sit and communicate about this stuff. He is just not home for the majority of our relationship. But I don’t work and I have 2 months of school left so you can understand, leaving is no a viable option and I still don’t want to leave him. I still want to be with him, I’m just trying to work so that I never stop wanting that. like his behavior those two times were wild. One we flew over an intersection and he told me to get out of the car. I freak out, get my cat and try to go to work and then he tells me to go to *** for me to think he might take his temper out on the cat. Couple weeks later I go hang out with friends from school and work and we went bowling. I call and tell him I didn’t realize one of the guys seemed very interested in me. And he was insisting it was my fault for being with an all male group anyway. But it’s bowling? He freaks out and it eventually turns into I cheated on him and I’m for everyone and F you. I wasn’t ready to get married, I thought you were mine. And then the next day I call cuz he tells me to call and he says everything is fine he didn’t mean it and felt bad immediately after. Throughout that call I was shaking violently and couldn’t finish the conversation. And since then I feel head over heels for him and then when I don’t get any attention i immediately resort to he hates me, he is lying, he has got to be keeping me around for something and not to be his wife. But then there are days when he is struggling and is like “I can only talk to you about this stuff.” I just don’t know how to tell him how much he hurt me. How stressed I am now because of it. And how I have lost trust in our relationship since he seemed so easily able to give up on me twice after 4 years. I think it’s being in solitude in a truck all day but it’s no freaking excuse. thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this if you do
Inflation Is Affecting Us All
Work & Career / by Karrotcake42
Last post
 August 10th, 2023
...See more I wanted to have a conversation about inflation and how many of us are struggling especially since covid. No politics. How has the low income to spending been affecting you guys? For me it makes me feel like the world is ending and throwing chaos all around us. It makes me believe less in our community and more on myself. I think it’s making me more paranoid and untrusting of others. We are forced to fend for ourselves and work 40 hours a week and live paycheck to paycheck. Our economy relies on workers but our workers are getting sick mentally and physically and struggling to get back up. It makes me sad to see. The homelessness shatters my heart. I want to help but I don’t even have anything. I’ve dedicated my current life to finishing school so I can make better money so I can finally help others. But I just found out that two parents working really decent (not anymore due to inflation) paying jobs is no longer enough to support their family. It scares me. I don’t have kids yet. I’m not sure where we are headed but will all this work and money I put into school go in vane? I think about money everyday over many other important things. I’m tired. And I’m a hard worker but is my work worth the pay? Idk. People are beginning to strike though. Apparently it’s the 70’s over again right now. I don’t know enough history. All I can say is that you’re not the only one struggling and burnt out being worked to dirt and barely paid for it to be worth it.
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